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It is because your ISP (BSNL 3G) is assigning your PC with a shared IP address which is shared by many users at a time. Google has anti-DoS protection in place and when many users access Google using the same IP address it would detect the traffic as a possible DoS attack and hence it tries to block your access by showing up the error message. BSNL must be trying to cut their costs by assigning a shared IP for all users or maybe due to the scarcity of IPv4 addresses. They have to implement IPv6 and start providing dynamic non-shared IP for each user. I think BSNL also offers static IP address at a cost if you are looking for an immediate solution. It isn't Google alone that you will face issues with. Some files sharing websites like Rapidshare, Megaupload, etc. will also deny you access if other users are downloading at the same time using the same IP. Another issue is that BSNL harbors the most number of spammers (see: http://www.uceprotect.net/en/rblcheck.php ) and many mail servers will have the IPs blocked as well and you won't even be able to send email if the recipient mail server is using a blacklist that lists the IP as a spammer. The same applies for websites that use spam check database to prevent spammers from signing up as well (I hope "inception" is reading this )

Smartphone OS Comparison-Which One is The Best? iOS, Android, Windows Phone 7 and Symbian 3 There was a time when buying a smartphone was easy. You had a couple of platforms and a handful of models to choose from. Things have changed a lot today. You now have over half a dozen platforms out there with hundreds of different models between them, priced very close to each other. It doesn't help matters when several phones are identical to each other but simply running a different brand of operating system. You can decide what features you want in your phone but what about the operating system? There is no way you can choose between them looking at the spec sheet alone. Being in a position where we get to use all the latest smartphones on all the different platforms, we think we have answers to your operating system related questions. What follows is a brief comparison of the top four smartphone platforms - iOS, Android, Windows Phone 7 and Symbian 3-where we try to find which one is the best, ultimately narrowing down your number of options while buying and helping you choose better. Aesthetics iOS is the oldest of the four platforms here. Even though it is four-and-a-half-years old now and has barely undergone any major UI makeover, it still looks great. The UI design has a sense of timelessness to it and no matter how many times you look at it it does not look boring. Apple has also designed it in a manner where it is out of your way most of the time so that you can concentrate on your applications. This means there are no unnecessary animations and transition effects and whatever little is there looks natural and is functional. Android on the other hand has gone through considerable changes since its first iteration and has only got better with age. Having said that, over the years it has lost some of its simplicity and picked up some UI design elements that seem overdone, such as the 3D image gallery or the live wallpapers, which serve no functional value whatsoever and just consume resources for meaningless eye candy. This behavior is at odds with the usual Google way of designing things, where functionality takes precedents over attractiveness. Still, overall it is an attractive OS and although it lacks the timeless beauty of the iOS or the contemporary look of Windows Phone 7, it manages to look pretty good. Too bad you rarely get to see the real Android below the custom skins. Symbian 3 borrows the basic UI design of its predecessor and improves upon it. Despite that the end result is not something that one would call modern. You can see the roots of the operating systems, such as the soft keys at the bottom of the screen that were necessary for devices with buttons and a scroll bar for when there was no kinetic scrolling. It does not look bad per se, but it is not in the same league as others. Luckily, it is skinnable, so you can give a new look to it with a custom skin, although don't expect to make a swan out of a goose. The latest entrant into the world of smartphones, Windows Phone 7 took the world by surprise when it was first announced, partly because no one expected Microsoft to come up with something that was so fresh and modern. The beauty of the UI design on Windows Phone 7 is unlike anything that you have seen before on other smartphones. Unlike other operating systems here, especially Android, which borrowed heavily from iOS initially for their UI design, Microsoft came up with something that was completely original and yet incredibly good looking. So good is the UI design that most people would be seduced into buying a Windows Phone 7 device based on the look itself. Ease of use Designing a good looking interface is one thing. Designing a good looking interface that is also easy to use is another and no one does this better than Apple. If you don't believe us just search online for videos where kids are given an iPad or an iPhone and within minutes they manage to figure out the basics. In our experience iOS has turned out to be the easiest mobile operating system, where everything was so clear and obvious that anyone who used it for the first time, regardless of age, could figure it out without having to refer to a manual. The reason for this is that it does not assume that the user knows how to use it and because of that you can go around doing basic things without any help. It is incredibly intuitive and makes you wonder why others haven't figured out a way to make their software work this way. It feels as if it was designed with regular human beings in mind, not robots or geeks. We loved the keyboard especially. Next in line of intuitiveness is Android. It does not have the same level of simplicity as iOS, were you can detach you brain and still manage to work the interface, but it is still very easy nonetheless. Unfortunately, you would rarely get to use stock Android on every phone you use, which means if you are someone who's not a geek and are used to, say, an HTC Android phone, you will be lost when you pick up a Samsung Android phone. So even though Google and the OEMs try to make the UI user friendly, the fact that there are so many different types of them is bound to leave a layperson confused. Using the early versions of Symbian S60 5th Edition was as much fun as amputating your arm with a dull blade. The UI was designed for phones with keypads and Nokia had done little to ensure that it was usable, if not a pleasure. That's not the case with Symbian ^3, however, which feels miles ahead in terms of usability. Things now work the way they should and there is no longer a doubt in your mind whether clicking something will just highlight it or launch it. We still don't like the way the applications are scattered across the menu and the on-screen keyboard could have been better. But overall the latest version of Symbian is pretty user friendly, and unlike Android, you don't have to worry about different interface layouts on different devices. Windows Phone 7 may look great but it isn't the best when it comes to user friendliness. There are some things that aren't immediately apparent, such as the way you have to press and hold on certain items to display additional options. Then there is also the quirky behavior of the search button or the tiny call/end keys and the need to unlock the screen before you can receive a call. But more than anything, it's the lack of basic features such as multitasking and copy-paste for text that really makes things difficult for the users. We do love the keyboard though, which is on par with the keyboard on Gingerbread and almost as good as the one on iOS. Features Features was never a strong point of iOS, but over the years Apple has added a lot of functionality to the OS, such as the ability to install applications, multitasking, copy-paste, folders, etc. iOS today leaves very little room for complaint. However, there are some things that Apple is yet to take care of such as Bluetooth file transfers, file manager, mass storage, homescreen widgets and FM radio to name a few, but we have a feeling none of these will ever be addressed. Fortunately, Apple does add additional functionality with every major firmware upgrade but more often than not these are limited to newer devices, whereas the older ones get the short end of the stick. Android's biggest advantage over iOS has been the features and with the latest release Android has almost every feature that you could want, whether it is multitasking, widgets, tethering, Wi-Fi hotspot or Adobe Flash support. It feels the most complete out of all the four platforms here in terms of features, and if features are all that you are looking for then you would be happiest with Android. When it comes to features, Symbian ^3 is no slouch either. You will find almost every feature here that you get on Android, along with some that you don't, such as FM radio and USB On-the-Go connectivity. You even get multiple homescreens (three, to be exact) and widgets for them, which are very handy. Features like multi-tasking and copy paste, something others have just discovered and others are yet to, have always been part of Symbian since the first iteration several years ago and have been executed perfectly. Symbian ^3 has most of the features that you would want and there wasn't anything that we felt it should have that it didn't. This is one aspect where Windows Phone 7 fails miserably. For an operating system launching in 2010, Microsoft has left out some pretty major things. Although they are saying they will eventually incorporate most of them through updates we feel they should have had them from day one. While it was excusable to leave out on those things back in 2007, Microsoft has no such excuse, considering they were in the smartphone business even before Windows Phone 7. It does have some good features, such as the homescreen tiles, Xbox Live support, Zune pass and Office integration, but we don't think that will be enough to compete against the rivals. Performance When iOS first came out, it wowed the world with its fluid interface that ran perfectly even on the modest hardware of the first generation iPhone. Over the years the OS has become heavier and the proof of this is the way the iPhone 3G struggles with iOS 4.0. But try the same OS on an iPhone 4 and you will notice a world of difference. The UI is silky smooth throughout with no noticeable sluggishness. Even when switching between multiple applications, the UI maintains its smoothness without faltering. Something similar has been observed in case of Android. As long as you provide it with fast hardware, it runs fine but tends to choke on slower devices. However, unlike iOS, even when running on faster hardware, Android is never perfectly smooth. At times you will notice unexpected and inexplicable slowdowns while going through the UI, which deters from the overall experience. Google has also added unnecessary eye candy to the UI, which also tends to bog down devices with less than perfect hardware. Also, Android does not use the GPU to render the on-screen images, which means the CPU is overburdened, causing further slowdowns. Still, with some optimization, Android can be made to work pretty well on slower devices. One of the greatest strengths of Symbian is that it has always been a very light operating system that could be run even by weaker hardware. This is why all the Symbian phones have hardware that seem less impressive than what we are used to seeing on high-end devices, but that is absolutely fine as even on that hardware the OS runs perfectly well. Since the OS is so light, it removes the need to unnecessarily jack up the hardware and burn more battery in the process. This is why Symbian phones have the best battery life among smartphones. Nokia has also made good use of the on-board GPU to render all the on-screen images, leaving the CPU free to handle other tasks. When it comes to UI smoothness, Windows Phone 7 is unbeatable. That's mostly because it is always sitting on powerful hardware, but also because the OS is well optimized for it. This is another good example of the kind of performance you get when you know what the weakest device your software would work on and then optimize it accordingly. This is also why Android does not work well on low-end devices. The UI of Windows Phone 7 is so smooth, it gives you the illusion of moving physical objects around instead of UI elements, an illusion that Android fails to maintain, thanks to the occasional stutter. Unfortunately, the smoothness is only limited to the default applications as third-party applications could not live up to the same standards that Microsoft has set. We have seen Android developers come up with smoother applications even though they had no idea what phone their application would be running on. We hope things get better in future as these applications are updated. Applications This is one area where iOS pulls out a massive lead ahead of all the other platforms here. Being around the longest has certainly benefitted it and there are millions of applications available on the App Store right now waiting to be downloaded. Granted that more than half of them are not worth a second look but there are some really brilliant apps here. In fact, the general quality of applications available is the highest among all the smartphone platforms. Some of these apps have truly revolutionized the way we use our smartphones and in a way that not even Apple would have imagined when they made the iPhone. If apps are all you care about more than the device, then iOS is the platform to be on right now. Although Android is fast catching up with iOS in terms of number of applications, we have failed to come across truly compelling apps that would sway us in favor of the Droid. Most of the great apps on Android are already available on iOS and the remaining ones are Google's own apps. There are very few great apps or games that are exclusive to Android right now. Sure, things would change down the line and once everyone realizes that Android is the better platform to develop for, considering there are no strict restrictions to follow unlike on the App Store, people would eventually make a move towards Android. With Android already outselling iPhones in the US soon everyone would want to develop for the OS with the most number of users. Right now though, things aren't that great as such and if it's apps you want you should be looking at iOS, not Android. Also, remember that even if tomorrow Android Market does get all the great applications that does not mean they will stop making them for iOS. There was a time when people boasted about the number of applications that Symbian has. Although it does have one of the best libraries of applications available in terms of sheer numbers, a lack of application store meant it was difficult to have access to them. Now that Nokia has the Ovi Store, things are looking better. When we reviewed the N8 we remarked about the number of applications available for it. Even though the platform was quite new, the store had decent number of apps available for it. Even now it is growing at a steady pace. But the thing about the Ovi Store is that it will just take care of the basics and you won't be spoilt for choice as on iOS or Android. Want a Twitter client, there is Gravity. Want an IM app, use Nimbuzz. While this does make it easier to choose, at times you wish you had more apps from the same category to choose from. Windows Phone 7 has the least impressive library of applications available for it and although one can blame this on the short period of time it has been out we must say the Windows Marketplace didn't flood with great apps the way we expected it to be. Just like Ovi, it has all the basic applications covered, but there is nothing here that isn't available on the other platforms as of now. Also, the applications and especially games seemed unreasonably expensive on the Marketplace compared to App Store or Android Market. The same app as on these stores would cost two to three times more on the Marketplace for no reason. Perhaps developers are seeing Windows Phone 7 as a premium platform, considering all the Windows Phone 7 devices are high-end and think they can get away with pricing their apps high (the same reason why Android developers either choose to go the ad-based way or through OEMs because they know Android buyers aren't big spenders). Verdict You probably expected Symbian to be at the bottom of the chart when you started reading this article, but as surprising as it may be, it isn't. That (dis)honor goes to Windows Phone 7, which has a long way to go before it can play with the big boys. Sure it has the potential to be great with a killer interface that would seduce people into buying this phone (and flame me in the comments section for writing bad about it). But right now there are few reasons to consider buying a Windows Phone 7 handset. Perhaps by the time you are ready to buy your next smartphone, it would be ready for you. Symbian has gone through a lot of changes over the past years and it has never been in a better shape before. But we feel it has reached the end of its potential and it's about time it hands over the torch to MeeGo, which will take over as the premium operating system on Nokia's smartphones. While there is nothing bad about it, others just seem a generation ahead and although it still has the one of the best feature list around it's not enough in today's world. The fact the Ovi Store isn't exactly brimming with great quality apps is also another reason why it lags behind. iOS has had a long and successful journey and it still has a long way to go, but it seems too rigid in today's world. The interface design is still top notch and Apple's attention to detail is exemplary. However, you still miss some of those features, such as widgets for the homescreen or a notification system that does not annoy you. More than anything else, iOS's biggest trump card is the App Store, which is undoubtedly the best in the business. But the fact that you can only enjoy this wonderful OS on two smartphones, both of which are high-end devices, does not bode well for those who don't have 'Ambani' as their last name. Android today is a completely different animal compared to what it was two years ago. It felt rudimentary, to say the least, and although it showed potential it was difficult to predict back then what it would be today. Google has worked hard on the OS and thanks to a steady stream of updates it has completely transformed into this new OS that can go head-to-head with the best of the business. It's still far from perfect though and certain issues such as fragmentation would never be solved. But people have accepted them and found ways to make things work regardless of presence. Today's Android offers the best combination of features, performance and support from the developer community in terms of application and the fact that it can run on even a sub Rs. 7,000 handset proves that you don't need big bucks to own a smartphone. And it's because of all these qualities that it manages to narrowly nudge ahead of iOS, which has so far been the undisputed king of the smartphone segment. So our verdict is simple, if you don't have the cash to spend on an iPhone 4, get an Android. Source: Techtree

Date of Purchase : 1 day before Diwali (Nov 2010) Place of Purchase : Spice Hotspot in local Mall Cost : Rs. 10,500 Free : a. Spice QT50 Dual GSM SIM QWERTY handset (MRP 2999) [special Diwali Offer] - This was taken by one of my colleague @ Rs.2000, so effective cost Rs. 8,500 b. Screenguard (Model specific screenguard not available, Samsung Monte guard fitted all right) In the Box: Handset, Battery, Charger (Main unit with USB slot), Data cable which also act as charging cable, handsfree, driver CD, user manual The phone came with Android 1.6. I upgraded to 2.1 after a week by downloading the updater tool from Spice official website. After updation, the processor got underclocked to 480 Mhz from 600 Mhz in earlier version. However, this seemed to increase the battery backup. Also, in 1.6 version, there was a separate JAVA running app which vanished after updation. During the next month, thanks to Google, I found that this handset has many clones around the world. It is supposed to be made by a Taiwan based Co. The following are some of the clones (there could be more), in different countries, 1.Apanda A60(China) http://www.apanda.com.cn/ 2.Foxconn 3.China Vision Excalibur 4.Cincinnati Bell Blaze f800 5.Commtiva Z71 (Taiwan) 6.Muchtel A1(Taiwan) http://www.muchtel.com/products/muchtel-a1.html 7.Nexian Journey A890(Indonesia) http://www.nexian.co.id/index.php/product.html 8.Orange Boston 9.ViboA688(Taiwan) http://www.vibo.com.tw/CWS/Consumer_Netcard,2c9681c62913f646012959ee62a500a0,,,.html#top 10.Wellcom A88(Thailand):http://www.wellcommobile.com/th/a88.html 11.Motorola Quench XT502 12.Spice Mi-300 http://www.spiceglobal.com/SpiceMobiles/Model.aspx?Id=167 13.Videocon V7500 (with modified body) There is a thriving blog on Orange Boston http://boston-mania.blogspot.com/ In that blog, the official Android 2.2 ROM for Foxconn and Apanda A60 are available and as per user comments, the same can be used with Spice Mi300 right out of the box. However, so far I have not taken the plunge. Looks & Form The looks are a little geeky and has a plastic feel to it. The size is a little big for the shirt pocket. Fits well in Pant/Coat pocket. Fits well in hand and fells light enough. Touchscreen & Display The touchscreen is very responsive and even the slightest touch is enough and it also has a trackball. It supports multitouch and pinch zoom. However, the 4 touch sensitive navigation buttons below the screen (Home, Return etc) are not backlit which initially made it really frustrating to use the phone in the dark, however, it got better with practice. The default QWERTY keypad is easy to use. It is 3.2-inch HVGA capacitive touchscreen with 480x320 display and color output of 256K colors. There are 5 screens for creating shortcuts. Camera The Camera supposed to be a 5 MP one and has a LED flash. However, it failed to my expectation particularly in close-up. There are some major contrast issues. However, for distances over 6 feet, it works well. The video quality is good and better than most phones that I have seen. Call Clarity There seems some issues with the earpiece as the voice seem to break every once in a while. However, with handsfree (corded as well as bluetooth) this issue is resolved. Connectivity It has 3G (HSDPA), Wifi & Bluetooth. I have been using it with a MTNL 3G connection. Speed has been good. I use it daily for skype voice call without facing any call breaks. Also works well with my home Broadband on Wifi. Bluetooth file transfer and headset works well. Responsiveness The phone tend to become sluggish if too many apps are open. However, I normally use only music player, twitter, gmail, calender and browser and kill the other apps. With that, the response is good. MultiMedia & Browsing It does not have a FM radio, which is a little put off. It has a 3.5 mm jack. The display is good. MP3, MP4 and mpeg files play nicely. By default, videos play in landscape more. It is supposed to support 3gpp, 3gpp2, aac, amr-NB, amr-wb, imelody, mid, midi, mp3, mp4, mpeg3, mpeg, mpg, qcp, sp-midi, wav files. But have not so far tested the full array. It comes preloaded with Youtube app. It does not support flash. But that I understand is Android issue. It does not support DivX also. But installing Rockplayer solved that. The default browser is actually quite good. I also installed Dolphin & UCB browsers. The loading is fast. But that I suppose is thanks to 3G connection. Email I have been using the default Gmail option. Have not configured the Email app. It is supposed to support POP3 & IMAP mails. GPS & E-compass It has GPS including assisted GPS. I have not tried the assisted mode. But normal GPS locks in about a minute. It works well with the default Gmaps. The initial calibration of E-compass took about 4 to 5 minutes. Thereafter, it has been working fine. Memory Card It is supposed to support upto 32 GB Micro SD Card. I currently have a 8 GB card installed which works without any problem. Not tested with higher capacity. It supports installing apps from SD card and installing unsigned apps. Battery Backup This seems to be a problem area. The 1230 maH battery last only for a day with moderate use. I mostly use twitter, gmail, calender, aldiko (about 15-20 min), skype (voice call – 10 min) and music player (30-45 min) and keep wifi and GPS switched off. I charge in the morning, and by 10 at night, its around 35%. Final verdict Overall, at this price, its a good value for money.

GSM 3G/CDMA EVDO Phones Below Rs 10,000 GSM 3G is here and CDMA EVDO was already in place. Next thing you want is an affordable 3G/EVDO Phone. I feel not everyone is looking for buying those 20-25K phones, neither can most people afford it. So thought of compiling this list. For this roundup, my criteria was following, -Price Below Rs 10,000 -Real 3G Phone. GSM Phones advertising 3G but having 384kbps speed is excluded. -For CDMA, 1x speed phones are excluded. -Also imported CDMA phones excluded as Official EVDO on them still not possible. (I know some members using but still it's not available for public at large easily, Also won't fit into Rs 10,000) With this criteria, my search yielded following choices for 3G/EVDO Phones below Rs 10,000. All Prices are Online. Happy And Economical Buying....Enjoy.... Please post phones missed out fulfilling the above criteria and i will update. Thanks. CDMA PHONES Micromax E360 Rs 3,999 Micromax EG333 Rs 7,,999 -EVDO Rev.A V3 Pearl Rs 3,999 - EVDO Rev.A Samsung mPower TV S239 Rs 3,999 -EVDO Rev.0 Samsung Metro M519 Rs 5,649 -EVDO Rev.0 Samsung Ch@t M369 Rs 5,895 -EVDO Rev.0 Samsung mPowerTxt M369 Rs 5,989 -EVDO Rev.0 Samsung Corby TV F339 Rs 7,249 -EVDO Rev.0 Samsung Galaxy Pop Rs 8,950 - EVDO Rev.A Android 2.2 Huawei C7300 Rs 5,499 -EVDO Rev.A LG Cookie Spark 235 Rs 5,900 -EVDO Rev.0 LG Cookie Zip LG510 Rs 6,399 -EVDO Rev.A GSM PHONES Micromax H360 Rs 3,900 Micromax Modu T Rs 7,999 Micromax Andro A60 Rs 5,666 -Android 2.1 Micromax Bling 2 Rs 7,999 Android 2.2 Motorola Charm MB502 Rs 8,999 Android Motorola Flipout Rs 8,999 Motorola Quench XT3 Rs 9,999 Android 2.1 Samsung Hero E3210 Rs 3,190 Samsung Shark S5350(Metro 3G) Rs 4,740 Samsung Star Duos B7722 Rs 9,250 Samsung Monte S5620 Rs 6,790 Samsung Wave 575 S5753 Rs 6,999 Samsung Wave 723 Rs 9,299 Samsung Omnia 652 B6520 Rs 7,999 -Windows Mobile Standard 6.5 Samsung Galaxy5 I5503 Rs 7,990 -Android 2.1 Samsung Galaxy 551 I5510 Rs 9,399 Android 2.2 Samsung Galaxy Fit S 5670 Rs 9,500 Android 2.2 Samsung CorbyPRO B5310 Rs 6,999 Samsung Galaxy Pop S5570 Rs 7,650-Android 2.2 Sony Ericsson Cedar Rs 4,122 Sony Ericsson Naite J105i Rs 5,949 Sony Ericsson JALOU F100i Rs 6,299 Sony Ericsson Zylo Rs 5,567 Sony Ericsson T715 Rs 7,168 Sony Ericsson Elm Rs 6,599 Sony Ericsson W595 Rs 9,259 Sony Ericcson Hazel Rs 7,899 Sony Ericsson XPERIA X10 mini Rs 8,499-Android 2.1 LG Cookie Plus GS500v Rs 5,999 LG T325 Rs Rs 5,524 LG GW525 Rs 6,490 LG Cookie Flip GD580 Rs 7,199 LG New Chocolate BL20V Rs 7,299 LG Optimus ME P350 Rs 7,500 - Android 2.2 LG Optimus One P500 Rs 8,999 - Android 2.2 LG Optimus GT540 Rs 9,999 -Android 2.1 Nokia 5230 Rs 6,899 -Symbian S60-5th Edition Nokia X3-02 Rs 7,724 Nokia 5235 Rs 7,799 -Symbian OS version 9.4 Nokia C5 Rs 7,249 -Symbian OS version 9.3 Nokia C3-01 Rs 8,205 Nokia X5-01 Rs 9,167 Nokia E5 Rs 9,142 Nokia C5-03 Rs 9,699 Nokia E52 Rs 9,976 Olive Fluid V-W1 Rs 6,649 Android 2.1 Spice Mi-310 Rs 7,299-Android 2.2 Spice MI-300 Rs 9,500-Android 2.1 Spice G-6565 Rs 9,700 HTC Smart F3188 Rs 6,999-BREW Videocon V7400 Rs 8,990-Android 2.1 Dell XCD28 Rs 5,999-Android 2.1 Dell XCD35 Rs 9,549 Huawei Ideos Rs 7,500-Android 2.2 Special Mention: HTC Wildfire Rs 10,499 Androd 2.2

Best Collection of One Liners 99% of lawyers are giving the rest a bad name. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man. A bad plan is better than no plan. A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. — Groucho Marx A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. — Emo Philips A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. A day for firm decisions! Or is it? A day without sun shine is like, you know, night. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. — Robert Frost A drunk mans' words are a sober mans' thoughts. A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular. A generation which ignores history has no past – and no future. — Robert A. Heinlein A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't. A gentleman is a patient wolf. A good pun is its own reword. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. — Winston Churchill A little bit of powder, a little bit of paint, makes a girl's complexion seem what it ain't. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price. A lot of people mistake a short memory with a clear conscience. — Doug Larson A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package. A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep. A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience. A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend. A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. — Joseph Stalin A smart man covers his ***, a wise man leaves his pants on. A Smith & Wesson beats four aces. A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a pool. A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students A weekend wasted isn't a wasted weekend. A witty saying proves nothing. — Voltaire According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist. Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations. Adult: One old enough to know better. After all is said and done, more is said than done. Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question. All generalisations are dangerous, even this one. All hope abandon, ye who enter here! All programmers are optimists. — Frederick P. Brooks, Jr All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. All true wisdom is found on T-shirts. All work and no play, will make you a manager. Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. — Damian Conway Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. Am I ranting? I hope so. My ranting gets raves. An apple every eight hours will keep three doctors away. An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. Any clod can have the facts, but having an opinion is an art. Any fool can know. The point is to understand. — Albert Einstein Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening. Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. — Voltaire Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of. Anything you lose automatically doubles in value. Are you wearing lipstick? Well, mind if I taste it? Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups. Atheists can do whatever the hell they want. Attitude determines your altitude. Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay… Bad spellers of the world untie! Bald guys never have a bad hair day. Batteries not included. Be good – and if you can't be good, be careful. Be good; if you can't be good, have fun. Be naughty – save santa the trip. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Beauty lasts for a moment, but ugly goes on and on and on. Beer – the reason I wake up every afternoon. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? — George Carlin Best viewed on my computer. Better late than really late. Between two evils always pick the one you haven't tried. — Mae West Biology grows on you. Blondes may have more fun, but brunettes remember it the next day. Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist invents the parachute. — George Bernard Shaw Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. — Kin Hubbard Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid. Canis meus it comedit. My dog ate it. Carpenter's rule: cut to fit; beat into place. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. Chaos, panic, pandemonium – my work here is done. Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are. Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire. Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children. Clones are people two. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. — Mark Twain Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language. Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum. I think that I think, therefore I think that I am. Come to the dark side – we have cookies. Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. — Pablo Picasso Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer? Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. — Ambrose Redmoon Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear. — Mark Twain Crime doesn't pay… does that mean my job is a crime? Criminal Lawyer – a redundant phrase. Cult: It just means not enough people to make a minority. Dawn is nature's way of telling you to go to bed. Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm. Do not attribute to malice what can as easily be attributed to stupidity. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Does the noise in my head bother you? Don't argue with a fool. The spectators can't tell the difference. Don't be humble, you're not that great. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. Don't be sexist. Broads hate that. Don't believe everything you think. Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened. Don't follow me, I'm lost too. Don't let yesterday take up to much of today. Don't look unless you're prepared to see. Don't steal a police car unless you're prepared to floor it all the way to Mexico. Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective. Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done. Don't trust reality. After all, it's only a collective hunch. Drive defensively – buy a tank. Drugs cause amnesia and other things I can't remember. Dyslexics have more fnu. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get ****ed into jet engines. Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead. Earn cash in your spare time. Blackmail your friends. Earth first! (We'll strip-mine the other planets later). Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun. Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal. Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance. Elevators smell different to midgets. Entropy isn't what it used to be. Even at a Mensa convention someone is the dumbest person in the room. Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it. Every man has his price. Mine is $3.95. Every snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty. Every solution breeds new problems. Everybody has a plan, 'till they get hit. — Mike Tyson Everybody is somebody else's weirdo. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work. Everyone is beautiful if you squint a bit. Everyone leaves the world a little better – some by leaving. Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. — William Claude Dukenfield Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. — Leo Tolstoy Everything is always okay in the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end. Examine what is said, not who speaks. Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex. Excuse me, is there an airport nearby large enough for a private jet to land? Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes. — Oscar Wilde F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng. Failure is not an option – it's a lifestyle. Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again. Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. — Henry Ford Failure teaches success. Faster hardware doesn't solve business problems – unless the business problem is slow hardware. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches. Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy. First get your facts; then you can distort them at your leisure. — Mark Twain First rule of acting: whatever happens, look as if it were intended. Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. — Douglas Adams For a good time, call (415) 642-9483. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism. For every problem there is one solution which is simple, neat and wrong. — H.L. Mencken For good, return good. For evil, return justice. Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen. Freedom of speech is wonderful – right up there with the freedom not to listen. Friendly fire – isn't. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. — Thomas Jones Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. Frog blast the vent core! Gee, Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. Getting screwed while everybody else is getting laid. Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass. Goals are deceptive. The unaimed arrow never misses. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. God made us brothers, but Prozac made us friends. God will forgive me. That's his job, after all. Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. Great thinkers have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. — Albert Einstein Half the people you know are below average. Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have. Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it? Hear and you forget; see and you remember; do and you understand. — Confucius Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply. Hey Santa, how much for your list of naughty girls? Hey! It compiles! Ship it! Hey, you want to go out for pizza and some sex? What, you don't like pizza? Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence. Honk if you like peace and quiet. How come wrong numbers are never busy? How does a project get to be a year behind schedule? One day at a time. — Fred Brooks How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. — Pablo Picasso I am not single, I'm romantically challenged. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them. I can resist everything except temptation. — Oscar Wilde I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. I can't spell and beer doesn't help. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. I don't care who you are! Get those reindeers off my roof! I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. — Bill Hicks I don't mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch! I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. — Groucho Marx I doubt, therefore I might be. I drink to make other people interesting. I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account. — Conan O'Brien I have a drinking problem – the bars close at 2 AM. I have a strong will but a weak won't. I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. — Thomas Alva Edison I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. — Jimmy Carter I intend to live forever, or die trying. — Groucho Marx I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough? — Tom Clancy I like being single. I'm always there when I need me. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. I need someone really bad! Are you really bad? I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. I only drink to make other people more sociable. I prefer old age to the alternative. I quote people to better express myself. I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. — Peter Kaye I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. I thought I was wrong once, but it turns out I was mistaken. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. — Henny Youngman I used to be indecisive but I am not sure anymore. I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out. I'd buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the straw. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect. I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. — A. Whitney Brown I'm not crazy, but the voices in my head might be. I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman! I'm not paranoid, they really are after me. I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up your ***. If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing. If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far. If a man tells a woman she's beautiful she'll overlook most of his other lies. If all the cars on the Earth were lined up bumper to bumper, some idiot would try to pass them. If all the girls in Australia were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised. If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. If at first you do succeed try not to look astonished. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool. If at first you don't succeed, look in the trash for the instructions. If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. If at first you don't succeed, try a shorter bungee. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? If everything seems to be going right, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. If god is inside us, then I hope he likes Fajita's, cause that's what he's getting. If god is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. If homosexuality is a disease, can I call into work 'gay'? If I look confused it's because I'm thinking. If I misbehave and nobody sees me, that's one less lie I'll have to tell later. — Dave Dunseath If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? If it can go wrong it probably already has. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid. If life gives you lemons, stick them down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If oranges smell like chicken, why are tomatoes blue? Think about it! If the early bird catches the worm, what about the worm? If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress? If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. — Laurence J. Peter If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. If we don't protect freedom of speech, we will never know who the *******s are. If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. If we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. If you are going through hell, keep going. — Winston Churchill If you are going to walk on thin ice you might as well dance. If you are not committing any sins, you are probably not having a lot of fun. If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit. If you can see this, you're not blind, which is a very good start. If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you. If you cannot convince them, confuse them. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? If you didn't get caught, did you really do it? If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost. If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably leads nowhere. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. If you put it off long enough, it might go away. If you take something away from users, they'll sneak it in the back way. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie. If you understand what you're doing, you're not learning anything. If you're happy, you're successful. If you're not having fun, then you're not doing it right. If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. — Stan Levenson Illegal drugs are the chlorine in the gene pool. In a world without walls and fences who needs Windows and Gates? In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them. — Johann von Neumann In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. — Charles, Count Talleyrand In the dark I hold your hand, because in the light you look like a man. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. — Rita Mae Brown It always takes longer and costs more to fix it later. It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. — Albert Einstein It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. — Oscar Wilde It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. It's better to be a well-known drunk than to be an anonymous alcoholic. It's better to be wanted for murder than not to be wanted at all. It's better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are a fool than to open it and remove any lingering doubt. It's like deja vu all over again. It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required. — Winston Churchill It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things. It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. — Woody Allen It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you look when you play the game. It's one thing to give advice, it's another to take it. It's people that give drinking a bad name. It's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease. I'm not mentally ill, I just have a problem with reality. Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. Laugh at your problems; everybody else does. Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself. Learn from my parent's mistake. Don't have kids! Learn from your parents' mistakes – use birth control. Learning from your mistakes is smart, learning from the mistakes of others is wise. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Let's play carpenter, first we get hammered, then I nail you. Life exists for no known purpose. Life is a sexually transmitted disease — R. D. Laing Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don't complain about the draught. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. — Isaac Asimov Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans. Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. — George Bernard Shaw Life's a bitch, and then you're reincarnated. Life's a bleach and then you dye. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Linux is only free if your time is worthless. Linux: because rebooting is for adding new hardware. Living healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which you can die. Logic is in the eye of the logician. Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. — Lord Dunsany Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. — George Burns Love is atemporary insanity curable by marriage. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. Lunix… Because i'm better than you. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. Marriage is grand; divorce, a hundred grand. Marriage. An expensive way of getting your laundry done for free. Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die. Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence. Maybe this world is another planet's hell. Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction. — Blaise Pascal Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. 'No' is the answer. — Erik Naggum Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. Monday is the root of all evil. Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots. Money should be utilized as a tool. You just gotta know which nuts to screw. Most people don't act stupid – it's the real thing. Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy. — Robert Anthony Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before. My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. — Woody Allen Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level and then beat you with experience. Never buy a car you can't push. Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him. Never eat yellow snow. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. Never interrupt your enemy while they are making a mistake. Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. — Isaac Asimov Never tell a lie unless it is absolutely convenient. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Never waste a lie when the truth will do. — Jack Clancy Never, ever make absolute, unconditional statements. No good deed goes unpunished. No life is totally wasted, one can always be a bad example. No matter how old you are, there's always something good to look forward to. — Lynn Johnston No one dies a virgin, life screws them all. No-one suspects the butterfly! Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Not all men are fools… Some are bachelors. Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it. Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee. Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy. Old age is nothing to worry about, except if you're a cheese. Old ideas got that way because they proved useful. Old soldiers never die. Young ones do. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in. One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him. Only dead fish go with the flow. Only the winners decide what were war crimes. Only users lose drugs. Optimist: Someone without much experience. Patience has its limits – take it too far and its cowardice. — George Jackson People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people. People will believe any lie, either because they want it to be true or they are afraid it's true. Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it. — Richard Feynman Pretend to spank me – I'm a pseudo-masochist! Programmers never die. They just become legacy. — epsilona01 Programming is like sex: one mistake and you're providing support for a lifetime. — Michael Sinz Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. — Evelyn Waugh Quando omni flunkus moritati – when all else fails, play dead. Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there. Reality is for people who can't handle drugs. Rehab is for quitters. Religion cannot be without morality, but morality may arrive without religion. Remember to always be yourself. Unless you ****. — Joss Whedon Resistance isn't futile, it's voltage divided by amperage. Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF, all of my base are belong to you. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. Save water – take a bath with your neighbor's daughter. Send lawyers, guns and money! Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer. Sex on tv can't hurt unless you fall off. Sleep: a completely inadequate substitute for caffeine. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface. Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. — Fletcher Knebel So the best way to be happy, is to make the other person happy. — Dalai Lama Software isn't released, it's allowed to escape. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. — Oscar Wilde Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. Some people wish to get what they deserve, while others fear the same. Sometimes a majority only means that all the fools are on the same side. Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push. Spelling is a lossed art. Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you. Stupidity, if left untreated, is self-correcting. — Heinlein Support your local Search and Rescue unit. Get lost. Sure, when… – oink flap oink flap – well I'll be darned! Systems aren't made from metaphors, paradigms and methodologies. They're made from code, wires and hardware. Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. Take it easy, and if you get it easy take it twice. Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Teamwork is essential – it allows you to blame someone else. The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected. — Cousin Woodman The beatings will continue until morale improves. The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning. — Sandy Cooley The best things in life aren't things. The chance of a piece of bread falling the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before. — Bill Gates The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. — Albert Einstein The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing. The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. — Joan Rivers The future will be better tomorrow. The Killer Ducks are coming! The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. — Robert Bloch The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out. The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!', but 'That's funny…' — Isaac Asimov The only certain thing in life is death. The only job you start at the top is digging a hole. The only really decent thing to do behind a person's back is pat it. The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. — Paul Fix The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. — Edmund Burke The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. — James Branch Cabell The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused. The problem with the future is it turns into the present. The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. — Oscar Wilde The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before. The revolution will not be televised. The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it. The shortest distance between two points is under construction. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. The Stock Market always does what you think it will, but rarely when. The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along. The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! The web isn't better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble. There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't. There are no short cuts to any place worth going. There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics. There are three types of people – those who can count and those who can't. There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. — Jeremy S. Anderson There are two types of people – those who divide people into two types, and those who don't. There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people who ask questions. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. — Bill Hicks There is no time like the pleasant. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. There's too much blood in my alcohol system. They call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken. They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid! Think much, Speak little, Write less. This sentence contradicts itself — no actually it doesn't. This website may not be idiot proof, but at least it's dimwit resistant. This will be a memorable month — no matter how hard you try to forget. Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. Time flies like a bullet. Fruit flies like a banana. To be is to do – Socrates, To do is to be – Sartre, Do be do be do – Sinatra To err is human, to arr is pirate. To err is human, to forgive highly unlikely. To err is human, to really screw up requires the root password. To err is hunam. To generalize is to be an idiot. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. Today is the first day of the rest of this mess. Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Today's children would be less spoiled if we could spank grandparents! Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest. Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. Too much of a good thing is wonderful. — Mae West Too much of everything is just enough. Tracers work both ways. Trying is failing with honors. Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying. — Arthur C. Clarke Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three will get you back on the freeway. Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane. Unix is user friendly – it's just picky about its friends. Veni, vedi, visa. I came. I saw. I did a little shopping. Veni, Vidi, Velcro – I came, I saw, I stuck around. Vidi, vici, veni. I saw, I conquered, I came. Viewer discretion may be advised, but it's never really expected. War does not determine who is right – only who is left. — George Bernard Shaw Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear. Wasting time is an important part of living. We all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by. We found Jesus – he was behind the sofa all along. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. Welcome to Hell. Here's your copy of Windows ME. Welcome what you can't avoid. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? What has been seen cannot be unseen. What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket. What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens. Whatever happens, ignore it all. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. When all else fails, admit i'm right and kiss my ***. When blondes have more fun, do they know it? When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. When I am sad, I sing, and then the world is sad with me. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car. — Jack Handey When I was young I was told that anyone could be president. Now I'm beginning to believe it. When in doubt empty the magazine. When in doubt, do what the President does. Guess. When in doubt, poke it with a stick. When it's dark enough you can see the stars. When someone points skyward, it's the fool that looks at the finger. When the pin is pulled, Mr. grenade is not our friend. When vultures fly, are they allowed carrion luggage? When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut. When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly. When you have nothing to say, say nothing. Which is worse: Ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares? While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several. Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom? Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free. Why do they use sterile needles for lethal injections? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Wise people think all they say; fools say all they think. With a rubber duck, you're never alone. With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Work harder: millions on welfare depend on you. Work is the curse of the drinking class. Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength. Worry is a misuse of the imagination. Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy, but gets you nowhere. XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve your problem, you're not using enough of it. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; that's why they call it the present. — Eleanor Roosevelt You are only truly in control of your life when you accept you are not. You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word. You can observe a lot just by watching. You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. — Mae West You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. You don't have to explain something you never said. You don't learn anything the second time a mule kicks you. You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. — Winston Churchill You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same. — Jonathan Davis You may delay, but Time will not. — Benjamin Franklin You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old. You're driving a car. It isn't a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant. You're just jealous because the little voices only talk to me. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. You're only young once, but you can be immature forever. Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with. Source: http://www.vegard.net/one-liners/

^ KamaL Bhai version 2.0 ^ By the way, always have your sonny under supervision in the gym. And please adhere to zero weight lifting programme.

That's a very wise and a good thing you have done and record break pahali bar bhabhi khush hui hain.....

all the best for ur Xtra fats. And permanent bye bye to them. And happy birthday to him.

A positive way of looking at it is that delinking of spectrum from license would mean that Infotel Broadband (The Mukesh Ambani Company going to offer 4G LTE services pan India) can easily offer voice calls on their 4G network by paying an additional 1651 crores for pan India Unified Access Service License. I hope my understanding of the same is right!!!!!!

Kindle... not any tabloid.. Just Kindle.. It might not be value for money when you think of other tabloids.. But with the objective in mind.. the best gift ever for a teenager if it helps him read more and more

The Topic Title "Home Automation By Tata" is totally misleading. I know it's not intentional...wanted to draw attention to some facts...No Offence. The company in question Micro Technologies has no official relation with Tata. The website domain name registered in the year 2005 also belong to Micro Technologies. This company periodically comes up with half page advertisements in low circulation newspapers here touting multiple products covering practical any aspect of security with tall ...and false claims.

What Credit Card Numbers Mean Here are what some of the numbers stand for: The first digit in your credit-card number signifies the system: 3 - travel/entertainment cards (such as American Express and Diners Club) 4 - Visa 5 - MasterCard 6 - Discover Card The structure of the card number varies by system. For example, American Express card numbers start with 37; Carte Blanche and Diners Club with 38. American Express - Digits three and four are type and currency, digits five through 11 are the account number, digits 12 through 14 are the card number within the account and digit 15 is a check digit. Visa - Digits two through six are the bank number, digits seven through 12 or seven through 15 are the account number and digit 13 or 16 is a check digit. MasterCard - Digits two and three, two through four, two through five or two through six are the bank number (depending on whether digit two is a 1, 2, 3 or other). The digits after the bank number up through digit 15 are the account number, and digit 16 is a check digit. The Stripe on a Credit Card The stripe on the back of a credit card is a magnetic stripe, often called a magstripe. The magstripe is made up of tiny iron-based magnetic particles in a plastic-like film. Each particle is really a tiny bar magnet about 20-millionths of an inch long. The magstripe can be "written" because the tiny bar magnets can be magnetized in either a north or south pole direction. The magstripe on the back of the card is very similar to a piece of cassette tape A magstripe reader (you may have seen one hooked to someone's PC at a bazaar or fair) can understand the information on the three-track stripe. If the ATM isn't accepting your card, your problem is probably either: A dirty or scratched magstripe An erased magstripe (The most common causes for erased magstripes are exposure to magnets, like the small ones used to hold notes and pictures on the refrigerator, and exposure to a store's electronic article surveillance (EAS) tag demagnetizer.) There are three tracks on the magstripe. Each track is about one-tenth of an inch wide. The ISO/IEC standard 7811, which is used by banks, specifies: Track one is 210 bits per inch (bpi), and holds 79 6-bit plus parity bit read-only characters. Track two is 75 bpi, and holds 40 4-bit plus parity bit characters. Track three is 210 bpi, and holds 107 4-bit plus parity bit characters. Your credit card typically uses only tracks one and two. Track three is a read/write track (which includes an encrypted PIN, country code, currency units and amount authorized), but its usage is not standardized among banks. The information on track one is contained in two formats: A, which is reserved for proprietary use of the card issuer, and B, which includes the following: Start sentinel - one character Format code="B" - one character (alpha only) Primary account number - up to 19 characters Separator - one character Country code - three characters Name - two to 26 characters Separator - one character Expiration date or separator - four characters or one character Discretionary data - enough characters to fill out maximum record length (79 characters total) End sentinel - one character Longitudinal redundancy check (LRC) - one character LRC is a form of computed check character. The format for track two, developed by the banking industry, is as follows: Start sentinel - one character Primary account number - up to 19 characters Separator - one character Country code - three characters Expiration date or separator - four characters or one character Discretionary data - enough characters to fill out maximum record length (40 characters total) LRC - one character For more information on track format, see ISO Magnetic Stripe Card Standards. http://www.cyberd.co...es/isocards.htm There are three basic methods for determining whether your credit card will pay for what you're charging: Merchants with few transactions each month do voice authentication using a touch-tone phone. Electronic data capture (EDC) magstripe-card swipe terminals are becoming more common -- so is swiping your own card at the checkout. Virtual terminals on the Internet This is how it works: After you or the cashier swipes your credit card through a reader, the EDC software at the point-of-sale (POS) terminal dials a stored telephone number (using a modem) to call an acquirer. An acquirer is an organization that collects credit-authentication requests from merchants and provides the merchants with a payment guarantee. When the acquirer company gets the credit-card authentication request, it checks the transaction for validity and the record on the magstripe for: Merchant ID Valid card number Expiration date Credit-card limit Card usage Single dial-up transactions are processed at 1,200 to 2,400 bits per second (bps), while direct Internet attachment uses much higher speeds via this protocol. In this system, the cardholder enters a personal identification number (PIN) using a keypad. The PIN is not on the card -- it is encrypted (hidden in code) in a database. (For example, before you get cash from an ATM, the ATM encrypts the PIN and sends it to the database to see if there is a match.) The PIN can be either in the bank's computers in an encrypted form (as a cipher) or encrypted on the card itself. The transformation used in this type of cryptography is called one-way. This means that it's easy to compute a cipher given the bank's key and the customer's PIN, but not computationally feasible to obtain the plain-text PIN from the cipher, even if the key is known. This feature was designed to protect the cardholder from being impersonated by someone who has access to the bank's computer files. Likewise, the communications between the ATM and the bank's central computer are encrypted to prevent would-be thieves from tapping into the phone lines, recording the signals sent to the ATM to authorize the dispensing of cash and then feeding the same signals to the ATM to trick it into unauthorized dispensing of cash. If this isn't enough protection to ease your mind, there are now cards that utilize even more security measures than your conventional credit card: Smart Cards. Source:HowStuffWorks

yeah kunal i loaded it... nothing specific steps...do as u load other roms....for people who r loading rom first time plz read all the instructions carefully given on the link... Instructions Download the Rom and the Phone Fix to your SD card. Nandroid WIPE Flash the rom zip via recovery. Boot it fully (You may get one FC but it won't hurt anything). Go through set up or skip though it. Flash the phone fix via Rom Manager or recovery Enjoy. I recommend u this personally.....try it kunal..its entirely different from other roms whatever we have used till now. BTW for aam janta like me By downloading you agree that I will not, nor will anyone else but you, take responsibility for the results of you flashing any of the files. LOL... Do we need this line here on Rimweb... our gurus rocks...

Swapnil Let me end your confusion. Going to be C.A. soon!! Your job is to confuse your clients not to get confused yourself!! Points of Differentiation between Motorola Quench XT3 and Samsung Galaxy 3 Android Version is same 2.1 in both. Processor: Moto 600 Mhz Samsung 667 Mhz. Wonder how much difference this will have on performance? Screen Size 3.2" same. Display Resolution: Moto 320x480 Samsung 240x400 Moto Wins Comprehensively Screen Colors: Moto 262K Samsung 16 Million Samsung Wins theoretically but human eye is not so capable yet to differntiate the exact details 3G Moto HSDPA 7.2 Mbps Samsung HSDPA 3.6Mbps Moto wins Wi-Fi Moto 802.11 b/g Samsung 802.11 b/g/n n Standard support in Samsung purely theoretical. Don't have any practical value. Bluetooth: Moto V2.0 with A2DP Samsung V3.0 with A2DP Again V3.0 not much of a help in practical terms. Camera: Moto 3.2 MP Fixed Focus Samsung 3.15MP with Autofocus Flash in Moto No Flash in Samsung. Video Recording: Moto 320x480 at 15fps Samsung QVGA at 15fps Moto Wins. GPS: A-GPS in both Battery: Moto 1270mAH Samsung 1500mAH Talk Time: Moto 492 Minutes (GSM) 384 Minutes (WCDMA) Samsung 910 Minutes (GSM) 430 Minutes (WCDMA) Manufacturer Claimed Standby: Moto Upto 560 Hours(GSM) Upto 545 Hours(WCDMA) Samsung Upto 625 Hours (GSM) Upto 483 Hours (WCDMA) Manufacturer Claimed Samsung has better battery. So the verdict: If you don't mind absence of Flash in Camera, lower 3G Speed, low display resolution, QVGA video recording, and value battery life as a prime criteria, Go for Samsung Galaxy 3. Otherwise Motorola Quench XT3.

Here is a simple solution to fix GPS issue on Samsung Epic 4G: 1. Enter *#1472365# in the dialer (For ECLAIR: * # * # 1 4 7 2 3 6 5 # * # * For FROYO: * # * # 3 2 1 4 7 8 9 6 5 0 # * # *) 2. Tap Setup, select Position Mode, select Starting Mode 3. Change the option from "Hot Start" to "Cold Start" Also I found using GPS with WiFi somehow delays the fix; Using it on data hastens it. Rest settings should be MSBased and Navigation. Also for improved and immediate GPS fix download the GPS Test application. Helps a lot. Updated (21-12-2010) PROPER GPS FIX FOR THIS ROM (DI18) Go to some open to sky place open dialer -> dial -> *#1472365# this will pop up menu 1. go to setup -> Position Mode -> Starting mode -> set it to cold start 2. download gps status & tool from market 3. it will show up some satellite. 4. now again go to Dialer -> dial -> *#1472365# 5. this time do warm start and go to same app gps tools -> this will too show some satellite 6. Now again go to dialer -> dial -> *#1472365# 7. this time do hot start and go to same gps tool app -> this time it will show more satellite. 8. wait for all satellite to lock -> b4 locking satellite will blink in and out 9. once gps fixed enjoy fast gps on this rom; also use this fix if you are migration to DK28 (Froyo) rom afterwards and enjoy gps locking