Vishal Gupta

Once there was a PRINCIPAL of school,he was some how very much annoy to a boy call HARRY,so he was searching some resons to kick him out from the school,but he was not getting anything at last he approched her class teacher to do so,for that she will be going to get promotion,sohe asked her to screw him up like anything . so here is the conversations bt'ween teacher and harry:- Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Harry: "Legs" Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!) Harry: "Pockets" Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants" Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...) Harry: "Coconut" Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" Harry: "Bubblegum" Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down! and a dog does on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...) Harry: "Shake hands" Teacher: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?" Harry: "Yup" Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do" Harry: "Tent" Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first" (Principal was looking restless and a bit tense) Harry: "Wedding Ring" Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good" Harry: "Nose" Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver" Harry: "Arrow" Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?" Harry: "Fire truck"

Telephone Trick, ..only for the bored. 1. Grab a calculator. 2. Key in the first three digits of your telephone number (NOT the area code) 3. Multiply by 80 4. Add 1 5. Multiply by 250 6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number 7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again. 8. Subtract 250 9. Divide number by 2 ....................Do you recognize the answer?

Promise me we are true friends I am lamp you are light I am Coke you are Sprite I am Sawan you are badal I am Normal you are Pagal I am Water you are Tanki I am Tarzan you are Monkey.....PoOoOoH!!! ---------------------------------------------- You r my sweet SONA I don't want u 2 KHONA I want a place in your heart's KONA Otherwise i will start RONA Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA --------------------------------------------------- TUSI bade hi gr8 ho, RASGULLE ki pl8 ho, PEPSI ka cr8 ho, ANDE ka oml8 ho, E-mail KARNE ME bade le8 ho, JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho, KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...! --------------------------------------------------- Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum Doob kar jisme marr jayu vo River ho tum Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum... --------------------------------------------------- Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain Tum bin hum bohat akele hain Sab kuch chod kar tumeh e-mail karte hain Dekho hum kitne vele hain >> * vele = lazy (vele is a Punjabi word) --------------------------------------------------- Someday u may lose ur hair. u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind. But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks. coz u cant lose wot u don't have! --------------------------------------------------- Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii.... Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!! --------------------------------------------------- When u feel sad.... To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness. But don't make this a habit..... Coz liars go to hell !!!! --------------------------------------------------- Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain.... waaaaahhhhhhhhh... tongue.gif --------------------------------------------------- Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai.. tongue.gif --------------------------------------------------- When the time comes for you to give your heart to someone make sure that u select someone who will never break your heart coz broken hearts have no spare parts. --------------------------------------------------- Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi... rolleyes.gif --------------------------------------------------- A good Friend is like a computer he ENTERS in your life SAVE himself in your heart,FORMATS all your troubles and never DELETE you from his heart. laugh.gif --------------------------------------------------- I see your face when I am dreaming That's why I always wake up screaming ohmy.gif --------------------------------------------------- Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti, Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati shukar hai tum nahi ho!!! --------------------------------------------------- Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya rolleyes.gif --------------------------------------------------- Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi sobbing.gif -------------------------------------------------- World has introduced a new rule ---> Good Looking people should be thrown out of the country!!! You are safe..... Where should i hide?????

Silly Mistakes In Bollywood Movies Baghban: Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are separated right after Holi remember Amitabh singing Holi khele Raghubeera?). They are said to be separated for six months, ie from March to September. Within that six-month period, they celebrate Valentine's Day, which falls on February 14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in October. There is no way these two occasions could come between March and September! Lagaan: Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie. Amar Akbar Anthony: Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person. Awwal Number: Dev Anand is an omnipotent genius - former cricketer, captain, army chief, commissioner, you name it. And Aamir Khan carries a huge transistor in his pocket while batting! Khalnayak: The police tracks the villain from an MS Word Document screen! Something that office team will be interested in) Pyar To Hona Hi Tha: Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl,little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside. Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi: Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America. Well, well, some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways. Since when did they start flying international? Raja Hindustani: Navneet Nishan has short hair before marriage. After tying the knot, she acquires waist-length hair overnight. What a hair-raising experience! Raja: Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri Dixit. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call an autofill! Guddu: Manisha Koirala and Shah Rukh Khan are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land on a glider. What a switch above sea level! Tere Mere Sapne: Priya Gill is doing her BA. But at the bus stop, she is carrying an electrical technology thesis by B L Theraja. What an electrifying interest! Watch the movie BULLET in which Video Conf is done in Outlook ! Also in Main Hoon Na shah rukh is sending an email to i think the general amrita rao's dad and he has powerpoint open on a blank slide!!!!

*****"Aisi Apni Wife Ho"***** 5'6" jiski height ho, Jeans jiski tight ho, Chehra jiska bright ho, Umar 22 se 27 ho, Aisi apni Wife ho. Sadak par sab kahe kya cute ho, Phir main sabse kahun side ho, side ho, Bambai, Delhi ya Gujarat ki paidaish ho, Saas ki seva jiski khwahish ho Aisi apni Wife ho. Parosi jab baat kare to haath me knife ho, Dinner kay time candle light ho, Hum-tum me kabhi na koi fight ho, Milne ke baad dil delight ho, Yeh kavita padne ke baad log kahe "chikne, tum right ho", Aisi apni Wife ho. kaash yeh concept .0001 percent bhi right ho agar aisi apni wife ho to kya hasin life ho har kisi ki yahi farmaish ho kudrat ki bhi aazmaaish ho khuda ke software mein bhi bug ki gunjaish ho ay kaash, kahin to ek aisi paidaish ho aisi apni wife ho!

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations. 1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends... Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here? Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here.. 2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt? Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again. 3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask... Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people. Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you? 4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter Stupid Question:- Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good?? Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it. 5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years... Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big. Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself. 6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good? Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money. 7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping? Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron. 8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair... Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut? Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding...... 9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth... Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts? Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed. 10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks... Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke. Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

The Most Important Body Part, Think About It My mother used to ask me: "What is the most important part of the body?" Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy." She said, "No Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon." Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, "Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes. She looked at me and told me, "You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind." Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge. Over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, "No, but you are getting smarter every year, my child." Then last year, my grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry. My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to Grandpa. She asked me, "Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?" I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me. She saw the confusion on my face and told me, "This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in your life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you was wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson." She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, "My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder." I asked, "Is it because it holds up my head?" She replied, "No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it." Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one. It is sympathetic to the pain of others. People will forget what you said... People will forget what you did.... But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel. True or not, the story makes you stop and think.

Deepu! hv u installed JSLib Lite extension for Java Script, that i hv already mentioned in my previous posts? D/l JSBLit Lite May be bcauz of this extension the Quick Links is working in Reliance site!

Happy B'day!!! hv a GOOD day!

The Quick Links in Relianceinfo website is working now for me in my Firefox browser. Recently it was not working in firefox but working in Internet Explorer! Is it bcauz of new firefox version or Reliance has fixed the problem? Did anybody notice?

Screenshot of the phone: Link at Relianceinfo website: http://www.relianceinfo.com/Infocomm/Rim/h...s_lgrd2330.html

Reliance launches lightest handset with Longest Messaging * Has unique Airplane Mode * Can store 600 entries in phone book DAKC (Dhirubhai Ambani Knowledge City), Navi Mumbai, May 02, 2005 India's largest private telecom company Reliance Infocomm has launched a 65-gram handset LG 2330 with a unique LMS (Long Message Service) facility. "The lightest handset is capable of sending text messages up to 480 characters against the standard 160 characters," said Praveen Pasricha, President - Sales and Marketing, Reliance Infocomm. "Priced at Rs 2,499, the black and white handset is available in the open market and can be activated with the help of a get started kit. This gives an additional option to the discerning Reliance subscriber," he said. A unique feature of LG2330 is airplane mode that enables switching off of the radio frequency while the user is on board an aircraft, leaving features like games, scheduler and memo on. Its phone book can store up to 600 entries as against the normal 300. It is also capable of sending and receiving SMS or LMS in Hindi. Its other features include PC Sync to synchronise, Scheduler, To Do and Memo when connected to a computer. This feature is particularly useful to manage phonebook entries. The handset comes with 22 polyphonic ringtones, including three downloadable ones. Reliance Infocomm Ltd., a Reliance group company, is India's largest private telecom service provider with a subscriber base of over 10 million. Reliance Infocomm has established a pan-India, high capacity, integrated (wireless and wireline) and convergent (voice, data and video) digital network to offer services spanning the entire Infocomm value chain - infrastructure, services for enterprises and individuals, applications and consulting. The Reliance Group, founded by Shri Dhirubhai H. Ambani (1932-2002), is India's largest business house with total revenues of over Rs 99,000 crore (US$ 22.6 billion), cash profit of Rs 12,500 crore (US$ 2.8 billion), net profit of Rs 6,200 crore (US$ 1.4 billion) and exports of Rs 15,900 crore (US$ 3.6 billion). Related Discussions here

In Run dialog box, type msconfig and press Enter. It'll open a window, goto Startup tab and uncheck the checkbox that shows ur netz.exe application. Restart ur machine in safe mode and then delete or move this file to another location. And tell us the result!

Happy Birthday!

May be this page help u: http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=e...ficial%26sa%3DG

Dear gopisd! This thread is 4 Samsung SCH-N191 not for RD2030. If u want ringtones for RD2030, pls mention here: http://www.rimweb.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=279&st=165 This thread also contains ur requested Titanic ringtone! U can get it here in post of harsh471: http://www.rimweb.com/forums/index.php?sho...l=titanic&st=45

Happy B'day!!!

But Search feature is required whenever we hv to find the right thread to post something. Right? That's why i searched for SMS, cauz i wanted to post some good SMS and when i searched using SMS and SMS*, it didnt show the right thread that was required. Anyway no problem! Next time i'll search manually for the right thread!

Happy Birthday!!!

But when i tried to search using SMS* in the title, it showed following threads: Even there r some threads, which hv SMS word in their title, like: Why it didnt show these two threads in the results? So pls do something so that we dont need to use wildcards in the search string.

Try to download & install all updates & service packs for Win2003 from Microsoft site. I think following link may help U: http://www.download.com/Windows-Server-200...4-10220356.html

Pls read following posts: http://www.rimweb.com/forums/index.php?sho...c=1693&hl=radio http://www.rimweb.com/forums/index.php?sho...c=3050&hl=radio http://www.rimweb.com/forums/index.php?sho...c=2495&hl=radio

The posts, which i mentioned, hv the answers of ur following questions: So read carefully & u'll get the answers!

Arun! Can the limit of at least 4 characters in search box be decreased to 2 or 3? For example if i want to search the threads which hv SMS word in title and write SMS in search dialog box, it should show the threads. But instead of it it shows ERROR: So can u allow to search with less than 4 characters?

Some good SMS: 1.I wrote ur name on the sand & it got washed away.I wrote ur name in the air & it got blown away.I wrote ur name on my heart &..I got a HEART ATTACK! 2.I would like 2 officially announce that I am already accepting friendshipday gifts in cash, cheques, chocolates, luv & airtime. Avoid rush, Send Now! Thank U! 3.If I got ur smile, I dnt need flowers, If I got ur voice, I dnt need music, If u speak 2 me I dont need anybdy else, If U r my frnd I dont need the world! 4.We've known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more than FRNDS? Will u be my PARTNER 2 rob a BANK !? 5.I saw something in a shops window - it was stunning hot, cute, simply adorable. i was supposed to buy it for u. But then I realised it was my reflection. 6.The World is Round We'll meet again. When we meet I'll ask You "How are You" Hope You'll not ask "Who are You'! 7.NOBODY like U, NOBODY cares for U, NOBODY misses U, NOBODY wants to see U good, NOBODY is Ur best friend, NOBODY is happy with U, ...Dont cry!!! My name is NOBODY. 8.I saw U on ROAD today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My HEART started singing a Sweet Song: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT! 9.A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS. Now its 2 late dont try 2 change ur finger! Catch another fool! 10.Stars + moon = romantic night, Birds + sky = lovely day, Forest + animals = beautiful world, YOU+YOUR SMILE = "AYYO PAEYI" 11.HI VISHAL HERE. PROMISE ME V R GOOD FRNDS. I M LITE U R LAMP. I M WATER U R TANK. I M TARZEN U R MONKEY. 12.Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death. ? Save The World, , , , , , , , , So Plz start brushing regularly 13.When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of & 1 u wish to kill. now keep guessing why i send it to u!!! 14.no visits.... no calls.... no sms.... no mails.... no miscals.... i'm worried... R u in jail again?? 15.5steps to a LOVELY MORNING. CLose ur eyes, take a deep breath, open ur arms, fell ur heartbeet & say 'Its too early, let me sleep a bit more!' GOOD MORNING. 16.Sardarji is writing a letter to his son. It goes like this, "Son, I know you can't read fast, so am writing this letter very slow." 17.My Life was in darkness before i met u. but now it is bright. u know why? .... .... Coz u r a "TUBELIGHT" 18.A Sardar was in a hotel and his cellular phone rang. He picked it up and said " Hello, how did you know I was here?" 19.Dialog between computer hardware engineer & manager, Engg. : Sir, you cannot use this printer right now because I don't have driver for it. Manager : Oh my driver is ideal sitting in car. you can use him. 20.No matter how sad, no matter how blue, i feel better juz thinking of u. But i'm happier each time i msg u coz i noe i'll be disturbing YOU!!! hahahahaha (',) 21.It took my physical, mental, and emotional energy to tell that how much I love her. But she just said "no" without giving a second thought. 22.A girl phoned me the other day and said...Come on over, there is nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. 23.Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.