Non SMS Stuff

[Vishal Gupta 4]

COMPUTERIZED LOVE STORY!!!

Arz karta hoon...

jo sadiyon se hota aaya hai,

woh repeat kar doonga,

tu na mili to tujhe SHIFT-DELETE kar doonga,

ladkiyan sunder hain aur lonely hain,

problem hai ki bus woh READ-ONLY hain,

shayad mere pyar ko taste karna bhool gaye,

dil ko aisa CUT kiya ki PASTE karna bhool gaye,

tumhare samne hain itne sample, kabhi humen bhi to pic karo,

hamare pyar ke icon pe, kabhi to DOUBLE-CLICK karo,

roj subah hum karte hain itne pyar se unhe good-morning,

woh humen ghoor kar dekhte hain jaise,

0 ERROR but 5 WARNING!!!

"Computer Love Story"

Abhi abhi to pyar ka PC kiya hai chaloo,

Apne dil ki HARD-DISK par aur kitni FILES daloo,

Apne chehre se ruswaai ka ERROR to hatao,

Ai jaaneman apne dil ka PASSWORD to batao,

Woh to hum hain jo aapki chahat dil mein rakhte hain,

Warna aap jaise SOFTWARES to baazar mein bikte hain,

Roz raat aap mere sapne mein aate ho,

Mere pyar ka MOUSE banakar apni ungaliyon par nachate ho,

Tere pyar ka E-MAIL mere dil ko lubhata hai,

Par beech mein tere baap ka VIRUS aa jata hai,

Aur karvaaoge humse kitna intejar,

Hamare dil ki SITE par kabhi ENTER to maaro yaar,

Apni insult ka badla dekho kaise loonga,

Jaaneman tere baap ko SHIFT-DELETE kar doonga,

Aapke nakhre apne dil par bang ho gaye,

Do PC judte judte HANG ho gaye,

Aap jaiso ke liye dil ko CUT kar diya karte hain,

Warna baaki cases mein to COPY PASTE kiya karte hain,

Aapka hasna aapka chalna aapki woh style,

Aapki adaaon ki hamne SAVE karli hai FILE

[Chirag 5]

ok.. jus some fun.... click on the link below.. and enjoy..

http://www.rimweb.com.mirror.sytes.org

on any site, add .mirror.sytes.org and see the mirror effect.. cool na?

Edited August 10, 2006 by Vishal Gupta

[StaticElectricity 8]

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first.

Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.

He respectfully approached the man walking the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file. Whose funeral is it?"

The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife." What happened to her?" The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her." He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Then the first one asks in excitement

"Can I borrow the dog?" The man replied "Join the queue."

[Chirag 5]

heres something more

http://in.rediff.com/money/2004/apr/08quiz.htm

1. The Reliance Group's revenues constitute what percentage of India's GDP?

Reliance Group's revenues form 3.5 per cent of India's gross domestic product. The group also contributes 5 per cent of India's total exports and 10 per cent of the government's indirect tax revenues. Reliance Industries, the flagship company of the group, alone accounts for 30 per cent of the total profits of the private sector in India and 10 per cent of the profits of the entire corporate sector in India. It has a weightage of 15 per cent in the Bombay Stock Exchange Sensex and 12 per cent in the NSE Nifty index.

2. Where is Reliance putting up the world's largest gas-based power project?

With an investment outlay of more than Rs 10,000 crore ($ 2.27 billion), the power project will comeup at Dadri in Uttar Pradesh and is expected to benefit consumers in northern India. This project, to be developed in phases, will also be the largest power generating plant in the country at a single location. It is also the single largest investment ever across any sector in Uttar Pradesh.

3. How many children does Reliance Group's late patriarch Dhirubhai Ambani have?

Dhirubhai Ambani has four children: two sons and two daughters. The two sons, Mukesh, who is Chairman & Managing Director of the Reliance Group and Anil, Vice-Chairman & Managing Director of Reliance Industries are the best known. The two daughters are Dipti Salgaocar who is married to Dattaraj Salgaocar who belongs to the Salgaocar family of Goa that has extensive interests in mining, shipping, etc. The other is Nina, who is married to Badrashyam Kothari and lives in Chennai.

4. Who is the Amabanis' family guru?

Pujya Shri Ramesh Bhai Oza, popularly known as Bhaishri or Bhaiji, is highly regarded by the Ambani family. Bhaishri runs the 'Sandipani Vidyaniketan' for students to help them 'inculcate lineage, virtues and attributes directly from the Vedas and the Upanishads.' Bhaishri has been present at many functions of the Ambani family, including the launch of Reliance Infocomm in December 2002.

5. Reliance India Mobile, introduced a wrist watch phone with plug-in camera. How much does the phone cost?

The wrist watch phone-camera was launched in March in Mumbai, Delhi, Chennai, Bangalore and Hyderabad and will be available at the Reliance WebWorlds and retail outlets at these cities. Called the Telson TWC 1150, the a wristwatch phone with plug-in camera from Telson Electronics, is being sold for the first time in India. While the phone can be worn on the wrist, it is also claimed to be the world's lightest CDMA2000 1x phone. It weighs only 98 gms.

[Chirag 5]

For the music freaks..

http://66.30.146.164/Full%20CD's/

[StaticElectricity 8]

here's a little something for all the reverse engineers out there..

http://66.30.146.164/Files/Cracking/

[Greens 21]

another reverse engineering stuff....astalavista.box.sk enjoy!!!!!

[cyst 0]

******Great Sardarji's Jokes*******

Note: Viewer's discretion has been regretted

---

SARDAR JOKES

1.Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings.

He picks it up and says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

2.Did you hear about the Sardar who signed all his cheques so that no one else could use them if he lost his cheque book?

3.Did you hear about the Sardar who asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs?

He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

4.A Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines

down the middle of a highway.

On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles;

the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked the Sardar

why he kept painting less each day,

He replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."

5.Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?

They're there for those who don't drink.

6.Why do Sardars have see-through lunch box lids?

So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

7. Ms. Singh went to a swimming pool in a bra & panty.

The coach says: Ma'm, here a 2 piece costume is not allowed.

Ms Singh: So, which one shall I remove?

8. Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay.

One is a South Indian, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Surd..

Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together.

One fine day, the South Indian opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box. He says "I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die".

Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and says "If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die".

Next the Surd opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says "If I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump and die".

The next day the three friends meet for lunch. The South Indian guy opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.

The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.

The Surd opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.

In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the South Indian's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much.

If not I would have packed something else for his lunch".

The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch".

The Surd's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch!".

9. A Singh died and went to heaven.

When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective

heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Which days of the week begin with “ T ”

2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...

1..The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected.

But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"

The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March , 2nd, etc..."

Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.

10. Three men were stranded on an uninhabited island. One was Hindu, one a Muslim, and the other a Singh. The only way back home was to swim 100 miles to the next island, which was inhabited.

The Muslim was so determined to get home that he tried to swim.

He made it 50 miles, got tired, and drowned.

Then the Hindu tried. He made it 75 miles, but got tired and he too drowned.

The Singh thought he could make it all the way, so he started swimming.

He swam 50 miles, but started getting tired, so he swam all the way back to the island.

11. Two Singh went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.

"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.

So the two sardars swapped their sandwiches.

12 . Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied

"Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK,

I thought, thought, thought

and at last I wrote THUNK!!!"

---

[Chirag 5]

check out this link and get cracking! best of luck.

http://www.rediffusiondyr.com/talent_scout.htm

[Utsav 0]

Hey!

I wanna share this magical Presentation with you all. It's a Powerpoint show and it will make you spellbound for a while!

Click here to Download the Zip file. Or download from the URL given below.

http://www.geocities.com/turbasu/Extra/Magic.zip

[dda 0]

HEY... THIS IS AN OLD TRICK....

ALL THE CARDS THAT ARE SHOWN FIRST ARE REMOVED FROM, YOU SEE TOTAL NEW SET OF CARDS....

THATS NO MAGIC... JUST AND PLAY OF MIND

[ssr 10]

THATS NO MAGIC... JUST AND PLAY OF MIND

Yes u r correct

[Utsav 0]

THATS NO MAGIC... JUST AND PLAY OF MIND

Yes u r correct

Ya... I know. But, it made me feel astounded in the first shot. What happened to you?

[Utsav 0]

Here is something new for you all.

http://www.geocities.com/turbasu/Extra/20DollarBill.doc

[Vishal Gupta 4]

MY COMPUTERISED LOVE STORY:

---------------------------

Tumse mila main kal toh,

mere dil mein hua ek SOUND,

lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho,

THE FILE WAS NOT FOUND!

Aisa bhi nahi hai ki,

I don't like ur face,

par dil ke is COMPUTER mein,

aur nahi hai FREE SPACE!

Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab,

pehenke evening gown,

too many REQUESTS se,

ho jata hai mera SERVER down!

Tumhare liye pyar ki APPLICATION,

CREATE main karoonga,

tum use RUN karna,

WAIT main karoonga!

Tumhara intezar karte karte,

kal raat main so gaya,

yeh dekho mera CONNECTION,

TIME-OUT ho gaya!

[Vishal Gupta 4]

10 ERROR messages we're likely to see in the next Windows:

1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

3. Press any key to continue or other key to quit.

4. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.

6. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

7. Windows message: "ERROR saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"

8. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

9. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

10. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen softwares titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.

[Utsav 0]

Here is something new for you all.

http://www.geocities.com/turbasu/Extra/Wise_Advice.pps

[himanshu_82 0]

This piece of information might be of some help to u. (For Mobile Holders)

How to disable your stolen handphone?, a bit of useful information.

Just in case you lose your mobile or it gets flogged, did u know this?

A little 'get your own back' if you have your mobile stolen. May be of interest to those Mobile Users among you. To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 # A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. Should your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the Sim card your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody did this, there would be no point in stealing mobile phones.

MODERN LOVE LETTER

Dearest Girl,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Tuesday, the 17th of August 1999. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of August 1999 at 1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance,I might take up a larger share of the expenses.

However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.

Yours sincerely,

[boy]

Life

A man was taking a ride in an airplane...

Unfortunately...He fell down

Fortunately...He had a parachute on his back

Unfortunately...The parachute did not open

Fortunately...There was a haystack below

Unfortunately...There was a pitchfork on top of haystack

Fortunately...He missed the pitchfork

Unfortunately...He missed the haystack too...

Life is just like that. Enjoy when u are fortunate, and rest when u are not.

Windows in Hindi

Bill Gates was in India last year. He announced that Microsoft plans to release a Windows version in Hindi. Here are some of

the Windows related terms that have been approved by Bill Gates to be used in the Hindi version of... Khidkiyan 2000:

( More appropriately Atyant Mulayam Khidkiyan 2000 )

Atyant Mulayam = Microsoft

Khidki = Window

Phaail = File

Bachao = Save

Aise Bachao = Save as

Subko Bachao = Save All

Mujhe Bachao = Help

Madad Pe Madad = Help On Help

Dhoondo = Find

Firse Dhoondo = Find Again

Hilao = Move

Chaara = Options

Bura sandesh yaa phail naam = Bad command or file name

Garbh girao, Firse koshish karo, Naakaamyab = Abort, retry,fail

chhavo = Tile

Aadmi Bhejo = Send Mail

Daak = Mail

Daakiya = Mailer

Bhaago = Run

Chhaapo = Print

Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview

Chipkao = Paste

Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special

Mitao = Delete

Kagaz Uper = Page Up

Kagaz Neeche = Page Down

Anth = End

Saaf karo = Clear

Sab Kuch Saaf Karo = Clear All

Makan = Home

Topi Ka Tala = CapsLock

Hathiyaar = Tools

Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet

Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit

Ped = Tree

Chooha = Mouse

Chooha Chalak = Mouse Driver (Software)

Tik-Tik Karo = Click

Idhar-se-Udhar,Udhar-se-Idhar Wala Danda = Scrollbar

Pardha = Screen

Pardha Bachanewala = Screen Saver

Krimi = Virus

Tika = Anti Virus

Karo = Do

Galthi = Error

Ghusao = Insert

Pahle Ghusao = Insert Before

Beech Mein ghusao = Insert Between

Baadhme Ghusao = Insert After

Chabi Phalak = Key board

Choohha Ka Bisthar = Mouse Pad

Avaaz Phodney Wali Cheez = Sound Blaster

Antarjatiya Jaal = InterNet

Baath Cheeth Dabba = Dialog Box

Chale? = Exit?

Weird Things You Would Never Know!!

Butterflies taste with their feet.

All polar bears are left handed.

A snail can sleep for three years.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7

pitches.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not

downstairs.

On average people fear spiders more than they do

death.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or

older.

No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an

inch every year because when it built, engineers failed to take into

account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

Go," is the shortest complete sentence known in the

English language.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint

pens every year.

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently

arrived immigrants.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads

for dating are already married.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than

all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our

nose and ears never stop growing. - SCARY!!!

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from

their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using

the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be

39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.

E-mail

A jobless guy applied at Microsoft as a cleaning service. After a test(cleaning toilet, etc.), the HR informed him that he's got the job and asked for his email address for the letter of appointment and other documents.

The guy said "I don't have a computer, leave alone an email address". The HR then informed him that without email address he virtually does not exist, so Microsoft cannot employ him.

Disappointed, he left the building. He had only $10 in his pocket.

He then went to a nearby market and bought 10Kg of potatoes. Then he went to the neigbourhood and sold the potatos door to door. After two hours, he managed to sell all the potatoes at 100% profit. He repeated the exercise again and each times he gained 100% profit thus doubling his capital.

He realized he can survive this way.

He seriously got involved in this business. With some variety of commodities(creativity) plus hard work he managed to expand his business.

He then bought a car for distributing the stuff. Within 5 years, his business become a giant door-to-door market service wherein people could buy fresh vegies and fruits at their doorstep.

The guy then started to think about his future and his family. He wanted to buy an insurance for himself, so he called on an insurance agent. After sales agreement, the insurance agent asked the guy,his email address for future contacts.

He replied "I don't have a computer, leave alone an email address".

The insurance agent then said "That's very pathetic. You own a giant business, but yet do not have an email address. Imagine what you can do if you have a computer and an email address".

The man answered "I would have been a Microsoft's cleaning service guy".

Lessons to learn:

1. Without Internet or email, you still can survive and become a millionaire if you work hard.

2. You need an email address if you want to work in Microsoft.

3. Because you received this email, there is a higher chance that you become a cleaner rather than a millionaire.

Arjun being disillusioned & Krishna trying to clear that

disillusionment...

Krishna : Apne se badon ke email ka aadar samman

karna seekho, Arjun.

Arjun : Main apne hi kul ke aadarniya logon ko JUNK

EMAIL kaise bhej sakta hoon, Vasudev ?

Krishna : Is samay yeh tumhare mitra ya shatru nahi

hain Paarth. Vey kreview mail-users hain. Isliye Net-dharm ka paalan karo. Login karo our bhejo junk mail by the dozen

yahi tumhara kartavya hai aur yahee tumhara dharm hai.

Arjun : Hey Muraree! ise dekh kar to lagata hai mein

software industry hee chhod doon.

Krishna : Vats tum mohmaya mein fass gaye ho. Is

jagat mein na koi tumhara hai, na tum kisi ke ho. tum se

pahle bhee ye junk mail thee or tumhare baad bhee rahegee. Is mohmaya se ooper utho, karm karo. Dhanadhan junk mail bhejo.

Arjun : Kintu, iska parinam kya hoga, hey Devaki nandan ?

Krishna : Vijay ya parajay tumhare vash mein nahi hai.

Issliye parinam ke bare mien sochna band kar do. Tumhe Guru Dronacharya ne junk-shastra ki siksha dee hai use nasht mat hone do...

Arjun : Hey Keshav, Junk mail ka system se kya connection hai ?

Krishna : Junk mail junk mail hi hai, iska hardware se koi naata nahin. Haan yeh alag baat hain ki woh System ko overload kardeta hain.. Disk bhar deta hain.. Tumhara kaam iske baarein mein sochna nahin hain..Jis tarah se aatma ek sharir ko chod kar doosre mein pravesh karti hai,usi tarah se junk mail bhi system to system travel karta hai.

Arjun : Junk mail ki paribhasha kya hai?

Krishna : Isse na agni jala sakti hai, na varun bhiga

sakti hai, na hi yeh jeeta ja sakta hai na hi haaraya ja sakta hai. Isse bhejne wale ka swayam Mahadev bhi kuch nahi bigad sakte hain. Junk mail amar hai.

Arjun : Hey Narayan ! Abhi mere saare fande

clear ho gaye hain. Yashoda nandan aapne meree

aankhe khol dee, nahin to mein is mohmaya mein

pad ker saree junk mail hud hee padh leta.

..............MAHAAABHAAAAARAT............

[Vishal Gupta 4]

Thats wonderful! Himanshu

Hindi Version of Windows is

Lage Raho!!!!

[Vishal Gupta 4]

guys

if u want to know who you were in your last past life?

follow this link:

http://www.onearth.com/whouwhere.html

[Utsav 0]

guys

if u want to know who you were in your last past life?

follow this link:

http://www.onearth.com/whouwhere.html

HUH! All the replies are same Same for any entry provided

[Vishal Gupta 4]

no

thats not

try to enter day=22, month=12, year=80

then enter day=22, month=12, year=81

u'll get differet results.

[chandramauli 0]

These might be stale to some ..but still worth !!

Understanding Engineers

=======================

Understanding Engineers - Take One

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass Is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and

said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,

picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and

said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a

beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the

frog out of his pocket,smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out,

"If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,

I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog

out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?

I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that

I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want.

Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look,

I'm an engineer.I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now

that's cool."

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers

and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

An architect, an artist and an engineer were

discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid

foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he

enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found

there. The engineer said, "I like both." " Both? "

"Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume

you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and

get some work done."

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

Two engineering students were walking across campus

when one said,"Where did

you get such a great bike?" The second engineer

replied,"Well, I was walking

along yesterday minding my own business when a

beautifulwoman rode up on

this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took

off all her clothes and

said, "Take what you want."

"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good

choice. The

clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Once engineers from all fields get together for a

discussion. The topic is "

To which engineering field does GOD belong " ..

Mechanical Engineer: I guess He must be a mechie or

else he

couldn't have developed such a beautiful and

symmetrical body.

Chemical Engineer: Definitely God is a chemical

engineer ... .just look at the various complex

chemical processes in the

human body.Computer Engineer: He is indeed a

computer engineer. Who else

could have written the software for the brain to

work? Civil Engineer: He is

a Civil engineer for sure coz who else could have

built a drainage pipe in a

recreational area !!!!!

A good interview

---------------------------

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele communication

engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Int: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never

heard of this college before!

Candi: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an

admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket worldcup I

scored

badly in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But

my

father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest

so

much of money". The baap actually said - "I will never waste so

much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly

speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be

related to a Shetaki Mahavidyalaya hehehe...

Int: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your

engineering.

Cand: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you

know, these cricket matches and football worldcup, and tennis

tournaments.. It is difficult to concentrate.. So I flunked in

2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Int: But 4+2 is 6.

Cand: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in ! maths. But I will

try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket

matches

really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Int: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Can: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!

Int: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Can: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought

I

would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was

looking

for a job for me in BEST through some relative.

Int: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Can: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education

itself was so much of pain! !!

Int: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have

you worked?

Can: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my

current

platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform

then. As You can see I have experience of different platforms!

Int: And which languages have you used?

Can: Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in

German,French, Russian and many other languages he he he...

Int: Why VC is better than VB?

Can: It is a commom sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher

version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new

language VD!

Int: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Can: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the

language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Int: What is your general project experience?

Can: My general experience about projects is - most of the times

they are in pipeline!

Int: Can you tell me about your current job?

Can: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Infotech ltd. Since

joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think

that Bench was another software like Windows he he he..

Int: Do you have any project management experience?

Can: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and

Excel.I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International

phone

call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few

words like - Showstoppers' ,'hotfixes', 'SEICMM', 'quality',

'version control', 'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction'

etc. Also I can blame

others for my mistakes!

Int: What are your expectations from our company?

Can: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should

not have

deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural

talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings.

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to

wear t-shirt and jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wed off also, so

as toavoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term

(preferably

1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and

Europe. But considering the fact that there is a worldcup in

South Africa in Feb 2003, I don't mind going there in that

period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many

expectatio! ns. So can I assume my selection?

Int: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for! your interest in our

organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. I

request you not to apply in our organization for next 100

years.After that we

might consider you!!

The candidate still doesn't know why he was not selected .

courtesy : DT

[Vishal Gupta 4]

Hey chandramauli

That was very funny.

I enjoyed it.

LAGE RAHO!!!!!!

[chandramauli 0]

Sorry to break the rules...but this one is really kool!!

___________________________________________

BUSH TALK !!

What happens when the Management decides that your question is not

appropriate????????

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war.

After His talk he offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.

"Bob", he replies.

"And what is your question, Bob?"

"I have 3 questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

And

Third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Just then the bell rings for recess.

George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right ---

question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts up his hand.

George points him out and asks him what his name is.

"Steve"

"And what is your question, Steve?"

"I have 5 questions.

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?

And fifth, where is BOB?"