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^^^

By the way Dipan Bhai.....don't you think the SCHEME is really good ??? Bina kuch kiye PAISA HE PAISA.... :winko:

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^

True very good scheme, copyright with you, only thing pending is to invite tender for nationwide franchise ;)

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Ha ha ha....LOL Dipan.

As the copyright is with me.....so I decided to invite tenders from all Mobile Operators, as this will be some kind of Modern Mobile Shauchalaya.....jisme PER SECOND CHARGE KIYA JAYEGA. Ab yeh customer per depend kerta hai....ke woh kitna time lagata hai OUTGOING mein. Jyaada time toh jyaada munaafa. Ha ha ha...... :P

Here is another one :

Girl : I want a responsible man as a Husband.

Boy : Thats me. Whenever anyone is pregnant in my neighbourhood, they say I am RESPONSIBLE. :P

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^

Kamal ji you really find some nice stuff lol.

I am giving idea - ask some dev to create android market app to find closest shauchalay nearby based on GPS ;) - will sell heavily on android market for tech savvy people urgently needing to use. Do not believe me, this concept actually exists :P Check www.findatoilet.co.uk

PS don't take otherwise, nothing to do so timepassing.

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^

PS don't take otherwise, nothing to do so timepassing.

Not a problem Dipan Brother. :)

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A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full 2 years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's

house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws,

you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.

" Indeed as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path and this cheered it some. But at the end of tile trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on YOUR side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them.

For 2 years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way

you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots.

Some of us don't grow old gracefully, some are not so smart, some are tall, large & big, some bald, some physically challenged,

but it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there. There is a lot of good in you,______!

Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.

Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life!

Or as I like to think of it - If it's not for the crackpots in my life, it would be pretty boring.

Thank you for being my crackpot friend,________ :)

...............................................................

...............................................................

"So how do you love yourself? First of all and most important: Cease all criticism of yourself and others. Accept yourself as

you are. When you approve of yourself, your changes become positive.

Everyone in your world is a reflection of your beliefs.

Don't blame others; change your beliefs. Be gentle, kind and patient with yourself. Praise yourself as much as you can."

"The man is happy, we say, who knows no good that would be greater than that which he can give to himself"

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:previous: Romba superrrr :clap: +1 for the beautiful learning 'crackpot' friend..

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At least a couple of these should make you laugh! ;-)

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)...and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on

A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections

A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty

A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes

A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination

A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour

A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..

Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control

A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'

A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness

A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

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What you value??

What thing is greater than Mother's Love?

What is warmer than Father's Hug?

Which pillow is better than your Life Partner's Arm?

Whats sweeter than your baby's kiss?

Whose a good protecter than a Brother's Shadow?

Which is a secure place of trust than a Sister's Heart?

Whose company is better than a Friend's?

What's tastier than Mother's cooking?

There are somethings in life which have no Substitutes. VALUE THEM!!!

Edited by csmart

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a bit of adult joke .....

Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"

The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

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On the bottom of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They did notice that every once in awhile one from their colony clinging to the stem of a pond lily and gradually moving out of sight and was seen no more. They were greatly puzzled. They wondered, “Why would anybody give up this comfortable life, great friends, and move up in search of a new life?” One more found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broken through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above. When he awoke, he looked around with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. He moved his wings and found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!! Swooping and dipping in great curves, flying through the air, experiencing the freedom of space, he truly felt on ‘Top of the World’.

This water bug to dragonfly story has THREE profound lessons to teach us:

Realisation 1: If the water bug hadn’t given up the comfort of remaining a water bug, it would have never become a dragonfly. This is where all great people stood out from the rest. They were willing to change and grow. They never sought comfort zones. They never thought what is EASY for me. They always thought what is GOOD for me. So, don’t settle. Keep looking. Don’t settle. Keep changing. Don’t settle. Keep growing.

Realisation 2: Now that the water bug had become a dragonfly, even if it wants, it can never go back to the place from where it came – the bottom of the pond. Once a Mahatma Gandhi, you can never be a Mohandas Gandhi again. Rajinikanth can never be a conductor again. True growth is only when your own past seems like someone else’s past.

Realisation 3: In that one water bug becoming a dragonfly, it will inspire a lot of other water bugs to become a dragonfly. After all, what is possible for one is possible for all. After all, we know that all balloons are made of the same inside stuff. One Viswanathan Anand becomes a world champion and so many of you will take up to chess. One Saina Nehwal wins the championship and so many of you will take up to shuttle badminton.

When you become what you can become, you will become an inspiration to so many other students in your school. The best part of change and growth is that you can become a role model to others. You can become an inspiration to others.

Hey, don’t get lost in a crowd. Stand above the crowd.--

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In Case of Emergency - I C E

We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in its memory but nobody, other than ourselves, knows which of these numbers belong to our closest family or friends.

If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending us would have our mobile phone but wouldn't know to whom they have to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? Hence this "ICE" (In Case of Emergency) Campaign

The concept of "ICE" is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact during emergency situations. As cell phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or persons who should be contacted during emergency under the name "ICE" ( In Case Of Emergency). <br style="background-color: rgb(191, 255, 223);">

The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when he went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to call. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose. In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right person by simply dialing the number you have stored as "ICE."

For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 and ICE3 etc. A great idea that will make a difference!

Let's spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our Mobile phones today!

Please forward this. It won't take too many "forwards" before everybody will know about this It really could save your life, or put a loved one's mind at rest . <br style="font-weight: bold;">

Remember:- ICE will speak for you when you are not able to...

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MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

************ ********* ********* *

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw..

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up..

7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth!

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up..

6. Attempt to insert card into machine...

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8.. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt..

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone..

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH,

AND TO THE LADIES who can handle it.... they need a laugh, too!

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Best Collection of One Liners

  • 99% of lawyers are giving the rest a bad name.
  • A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
  • A bad plan is better than no plan.
  • A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. — Groucho Marx
  • A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
  • A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. — Emo Philips
  • A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
  • A day without sun shine is like, you know, night.
  • A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. — Robert Frost
  • A drunk mans' words are a sober mans' thoughts.
  • A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
  • A generation which ignores history has no past – and no future. — Robert A. Heinlein
  • A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
  • A gentleman is a patient wolf.
  • A good pun is its own reword.
  • A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. — Winston Churchill
  • A little bit of powder, a little bit of paint, makes a girl's complexion seem what it ain't.
  • A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
  • A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price.
  • A lot of people mistake a short memory with a clear conscience. — Doug Larson
  • A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows.
  • A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
  • A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
  • A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
  • A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
  • A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.
  • A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.
  • A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. — Joseph Stalin
  • A smart man covers his ***, a wise man leaves his pants on.
  • A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
  • A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a pool.
  • A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students
  • A weekend wasted isn't a wasted weekend.
  • A witty saying proves nothing. — Voltaire
  • According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
  • Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations.
  • Adult: One old enough to know better.
  • After all is said and done, more is said than done.
  • Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
  • All generalisations are dangerous, even this one.
  • All hope abandon, ye who enter here!
  • All programmers are optimists. — Frederick P. Brooks, Jr
  • All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
  • All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
  • All work and no play, will make you a manager.
  • Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. — Damian Conway
  • Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
  • Am I ranting? I hope so. My ranting gets raves.
  • An apple every eight hours will keep three doctors away.
  • An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.
  • Any clod can have the facts, but having an opinion is an art.
  • Any fool can know. The point is to understand. — Albert Einstein
  • Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
  • Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
  • Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
  • Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
  • Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. — Voltaire
  • Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
  • Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.
  • Are you wearing lipstick? Well, mind if I taste it?
  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  • As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
  • Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
  • Atheists can do whatever the hell they want.
  • Attitude determines your altitude.
  • Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay…
  • Bad spellers of the world untie!
  • Bald guys never have a bad hair day.
  • Batteries not included.
  • Be good – and if you can't be good, be careful.
  • Be good; if you can't be good, have fun.
  • Be naughty – save santa the trip.
  • Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
  • Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • Beauty lasts for a moment, but ugly goes on and on and on.
  • Beer – the reason I wake up every afternoon.
  • Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? — George Carlin
  • Best viewed on my computer.
  • Better late than really late.
  • Between two evils always pick the one you haven't tried. — Mae West
  • Biology grows on you.
  • Blondes may have more fun, but brunettes remember it the next day.
  • Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist invents the parachute. — George Bernard Shaw
  • Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. — Kin Hubbard
  • Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
  • Canis meus it comedit. My dog ate it.
  • Carpenter's rule: cut to fit; beat into place.
  • Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
  • Chaos, panic, pandemonium – my work here is done.
  • Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
  • Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.
  • Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.
  • Clones are people two.
  • Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. — Mark Twain
  • Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.
  • Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum. I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
  • Come to the dark side – we have cookies.
  • Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. — Pablo Picasso
  • Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
  • Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.
  • Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. — Ambrose Redmoon
  • Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear. — Mark Twain
  • Crime doesn't pay… does that mean my job is a crime?
  • Criminal Lawyer – a redundant phrase.
  • Cult: It just means not enough people to make a minority.
  • Dawn is nature's way of telling you to go to bed.
  • Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm.
  • Do not attribute to malice what can as easily be attributed to stupidity.
  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  • Does the noise in my head bother you?
  • Don't argue with a fool. The spectators can't tell the difference.
  • Don't be humble, you're not that great.
  • Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  • Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.
  • Don't believe everything you think.
  • Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.
  • Don't follow me, I'm lost too.
  • Don't let yesterday take up to much of today.
  • Don't look unless you're prepared to see.
  • Don't steal a police car unless you're prepared to floor it all the way to Mexico.
  • Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.
  • Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.
  • Don't trust reality. After all, it's only a collective hunch.
  • Drive defensively – buy a tank.
  • Drugs cause amnesia and other things I can't remember.
  • Dyslexics have more fnu.
  • Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get ****ed into jet engines.
  • Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
  • Earn cash in your spare time. Blackmail your friends.
  • Earth first! (We'll strip-mine the other planets later).
  • Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun.
  • Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.
  • Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.
  • Elevators smell different to midgets.
  • Entropy isn't what it used to be.
  • Even at a Mensa convention someone is the dumbest person in the room.
  • Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it.
  • Every man has his price. Mine is $3.95.
  • Every snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.
  • Every solution breeds new problems.
  • Everybody has a plan, 'till they get hit. — Mike Tyson
  • Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
  • Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
  • Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
  • Everyone is beautiful if you squint a bit.
  • Everyone leaves the world a little better – some by leaving.
  • Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. — William Claude Dukenfield
  • Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. — Leo Tolstoy
  • Everything is always okay in the end, if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
  • Examine what is said, not who speaks.
  • Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex.
  • Excuse me, is there an airport nearby large enough for a private jet to land?
  • Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  • Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes. — Oscar Wilde
  • F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
  • Failure is not an option – it's a lifestyle.
  • Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again.
  • Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. — Henry Ford
  • Failure teaches success.
  • Faster hardware doesn't solve business problems – unless the business problem is slow hardware.
  • Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.
  • Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.
  • First get your facts; then you can distort them at your leisure. — Mark Twain
  • First rule of acting: whatever happens, look as if it were intended.
  • Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. — Douglas Adams
  • For a good time, call (415) 642-9483.
  • For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
  • For every problem there is one solution which is simple, neat and wrong. — H.L. Mencken
  • For good, return good. For evil, return justice.
  • Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen.
  • Freedom of speech is wonderful – right up there with the freedom not to listen.
  • Friendly fire – isn't.
  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  • Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. — Thomas Jones
  • Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
  • Frog blast the vent core!
  • Gee, Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
  • Getting screwed while everybody else is getting laid.
  • Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
  • Goals are deceptive. The unaimed arrow never misses.
  • God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
  • God made us brothers, but Prozac made us friends.
  • God will forgive me. That's his job, after all.
  • Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
  • Great thinkers have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. — Albert Einstein
  • Half the people you know are below average.
  • Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have.
  • Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
  • Hear and you forget; see and you remember; do and you understand. — Confucius
  • Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
  • Hey Santa, how much for your list of naughty girls?
  • Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
  • Hey, you want to go out for pizza and some sex? What, you don't like pizza?
  • Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.
  • Honk if you like peace and quiet.
  • How come wrong numbers are never busy?
  • How does a project get to be a year behind schedule? One day at a time. — Fred Brooks
  • How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
  • I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. — Pablo Picasso
  • I am not single, I'm romantically challenged.
  • I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
  • I can resist everything except temptation. — Oscar Wilde
  • I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
  • I can't spell and beer doesn't help.
  • I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  • I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • I don't care who you are! Get those reindeers off my roof!
  • I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. — Bill Hicks
  • I don't mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch!
  • I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
  • I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. — Groucho Marx
  • I doubt, therefore I might be.
  • I drink to make other people interesting.
  • I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account. — Conan O'Brien
  • I have a drinking problem – the bars close at 2 AM.
  • I have a strong will but a weak won't.
  • I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. — Thomas Alva Edison
  • I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. — Jimmy Carter
  • I intend to live forever, or die trying. — Groucho Marx
  • I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough? — Tom Clancy
  • I like being single. I'm always there when I need me.
  • I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  • I need someone really bad! Are you really bad?
  • I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
  • I only drink to make other people more sociable.
  • I prefer old age to the alternative.
  • I quote people to better express myself.
  • I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
  • I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.
  • I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. — Peter Kaye
  • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  • I thought I was wrong once, but it turns out I was mistaken.
  • I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. — Henny Youngman
  • I used to be indecisive but I am not sure anymore.
  • I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.
  • I'd buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the straw.
  • I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
  • I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
  • I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
  • I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. — A. Whitney Brown
  • I'm not crazy, but the voices in my head might be.
  • I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!
  • I'm not paranoid, they really are after me.
  • I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up your ***.
  • If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing.
  • If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far.
  • If a man tells a woman she's beautiful she'll overlook most of his other lies.
  • If all the cars on the Earth were lined up bumper to bumper, some idiot would try to pass them.
  • If all the girls in Australia were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.
  • If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
  • If at first you do succeed try not to look astonished.
  • If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  • If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
  • If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.
  • If at first you don't succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.
  • If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.
  • If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • If at first you don't succeed, try a shorter bungee.
  • If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0.
  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  • If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
  • If everything seems to be going right, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on.
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • If god is inside us, then I hope he likes Fajita's, cause that's what he's getting.
  • If god is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
  • If homosexuality is a disease, can I call into work 'gay'?
  • If I look confused it's because I'm thinking.
  • If I misbehave and nobody sees me, that's one less lie I'll have to tell later. — Dave Dunseath
  • If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
  • If it can go wrong it probably already has.
  • If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.
  • If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
  • If life gives you lemons, stick them down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger.
  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  • If oranges smell like chicken, why are tomatoes blue? Think about it!
  • If the early bird catches the worm, what about the worm?
  • If the opposite of pro is con, then what must be the opposite of progress?
  • If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
  • If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. — Laurence J. Peter
  • If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
  • If we don't protect freedom of speech, we will never know who the *******s are.
  • If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
  • If we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.
  • If you are going through hell, keep going. — Winston Churchill
  • If you are going to walk on thin ice you might as well dance.
  • If you are not committing any sins, you are probably not having a lot of fun.
  • If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.
  • If you can see this, you're not blind, which is a very good start.
  • If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
  • If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you.
  • If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
  • If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
  • If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
  • If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
  • If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably leads nowhere.
  • If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
    worth it.
  • If you put it off long enough, it might go away.
  • If you take something away from users, they'll sneak it in the back way.
  • If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
  • If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
  • If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
  • If you understand what you're doing, you're not learning anything.
  • If you're happy, you're successful.
  • If you're not having fun, then you're not doing it right.
  • If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. — Stan Levenson
  • Illegal drugs are the chlorine in the gene pool.
  • In a world without walls and fences who needs Windows and Gates?
  • In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
  • In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them. — Johann von Neumann
  • In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. — Charles, Count Talleyrand
  • In the dark I hold your hand, because in the light you look like a man.
  • Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. — Rita Mae Brown
  • It always takes longer and costs more to fix it later.
  • It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. — Albert Einstein
  • It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
  • It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. — Oscar Wilde
  • It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
  • It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  • It's better to be a well-known drunk than to be an anonymous alcoholic.
  • It's better to be wanted for murder than not to be wanted at all.
  • It's better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are a fool than to open it and remove any lingering doubt.
  • It's like deja vu all over again.
  • It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required. — Winston Churchill
  • It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
  • It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. — Woody Allen
  • It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you look when you play the game.
  • It's one thing to give advice, it's another to take it.
  • It's people that give drinking a bad name.
  • It's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease.
  • I'm not mentally ill, I just have a problem with reality.
  • Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.
  • Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.
  • Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself.
  • Learn from my parent's mistake. Don't have kids!
  • Learn from your parents' mistakes – use birth control.
  • Learning from your mistakes is smart, learning from the mistakes of others is wise.
  • Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
  • Let's play carpenter, first we get hammered, then I nail you.
  • Life exists for no known purpose.
  • Life is a sexually transmitted disease — R. D. Laing
  • Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don't complain about the draught.
  • Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. — Isaac Asimov
  • Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans.
  • Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. — George Bernard Shaw
  • Life's a bitch, and then you're reincarnated.
  • Life's a bleach and then you dye.
  • Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • Linux is only free if your time is worthless.
  • Linux: because rebooting is for adding new hardware.
  • Living healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which you can die.
  • Logic is in the eye of the logician.
  • Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. — Lord Dunsany
  • Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. — George Burns
  • Love is atemporary insanity curable by marriage.
  • Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  • Lunix… Because i'm better than you.
  • Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
  • Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
  • Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
  • Marriage is grand; divorce, a hundred grand.
  • Marriage. An expensive way of getting your laundry done for free.
  • Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
  • Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence.
  • Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
  • Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction. — Blaise Pascal
  • Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. 'No' is the answer. — Erik Naggum
  • Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
  • Monday is the root of all evil.
  • Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
  • Money should be utilized as a tool. You just gotta know which nuts to screw.
  • Most people don't act stupid – it's the real thing.
  • Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy. — Robert Anthony
  • Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before.
  • My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. — Woody Allen
  • Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level and then beat you with experience.
  • Never buy a car you can't push.
  • Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him.
  • Never eat yellow snow.
  • Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
  • Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
  • Never interrupt your enemy while they are making a mistake.
  • Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. — Isaac Asimov
  • Never tell a lie unless it is absolutely convenient.
  • Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  • Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
  • Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.
  • Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
  • Never waste a lie when the truth will do. — Jack Clancy
  • Never, ever make absolute, unconditional statements.
  • No good deed goes unpunished.
  • No life is totally wasted, one can always be a bad example.
  • No matter how old you are, there's always something good to look forward to. — Lynn Johnston
  • No one dies a virgin, life screws them all.
  • No-one suspects the butterfly!
  • Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
  • Not all men are fools… Some are bachelors.
  • Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.
  • Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
  • Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy.
  • Old age is nothing to worry about, except if you're a cheese.
  • Old ideas got that way because they proved useful.
  • Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.
  • Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.
  • One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
  • Only dead fish go with the flow.
  • Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
  • Only users lose drugs.
  • Optimist: Someone without much experience.
  • Patience has its limits – take it too far and its cowardice. — George Jackson
  • People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.
  • People will believe any lie, either because they want it to be true or they are afraid it's true.
  • Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it. — Richard Feynman
  • Pretend to spank me – I'm a pseudo-masochist!
  • Programmers never die. They just become legacy. — epsilona01
  • Programming is like sex: one mistake and you're providing support for a lifetime. — Michael Sinz
  • Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  • Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. — Evelyn Waugh
  • Quando omni flunkus moritati – when all else fails, play dead.
  • Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.
  • Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
  • Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.
  • Rehab is for quitters.
  • Religion cannot be without morality, but morality may arrive without religion.
  • Remember to always be yourself. Unless you ****. — Joss Whedon
  • Resistance isn't futile, it's voltage divided by amperage.
  • Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF, all of my base are belong to you.
  • Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
  • Save water – take a bath with your neighbor's daughter.
  • Send lawyers, guns and money!
  • Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
  • Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
  • Sex on tv can't hurt unless you fall off.
  • Sleep: a completely inadequate substitute for caffeine.
  • Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
  • Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
  • Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. — Fletcher Knebel
  • So the best way to be happy, is to make the other person happy. — Dalai Lama
  • Software isn't released, it's allowed to escape.
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. — Oscar Wilde
  • Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
  • Some people wish to get what they deserve, while others fear the same.
  • Sometimes a majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
  • Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
  • Spelling is a lossed art.
  • Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you.
  • Stupidity, if left untreated, is self-correcting. — Heinlein
  • Support your local Search and Rescue unit. Get lost.
  • Sure, when… – oink flap oink flap – well I'll be darned!
  • Systems aren't made from metaphors, paradigms and methodologies. They're made from code, wires and hardware.
  • Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
  • Take it easy, and if you get it easy take it twice.
  • Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
  • Teamwork is essential – it allows you to blame someone else.
  • The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
  • The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected. — Cousin Woodman
  • The beatings will continue until morale improves.
  • The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning. — Sandy Cooley
  • The best things in life aren't things.
  • The chance of a piece of bread falling the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
  • The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before. — Bill Gates
  • The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. — Albert Einstein
  • The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
  • The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.
  • The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.
  • The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. — Joan Rivers
  • The future will be better tomorrow.
  • The Killer Ducks are coming!
  • The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.
  • The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. — Robert Bloch
  • The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.
  • The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!', but 'That's funny…' — Isaac Asimov
  • The only certain thing in life is death.
  • The only job you start at the top is digging a hole.
  • The only really decent thing to do behind a person's back is pat it.
  • The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. — Paul Fix
  • The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. — Edmund Burke
  • The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
  • The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
  • The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. — James Branch Cabell
  • The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.
  • The problem with the future is it turns into the present.
  • The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. — Oscar Wilde
  • The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
  • The revolution will not be televised.
  • The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
  • The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
  • The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
  • The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
  • The Stock Market always does what you think it will, but rarely when.
  • The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
  • The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.
  • The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.
  • The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
  • The web isn't better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble.
  • There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.
  • There are no short cuts to any place worth going.
  • There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
  • There are three types of people – those who can count and those who can't.
  • There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. — Jeremy S. Anderson
  • There are two types of people – those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.
  • There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people who ask questions.
  • There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
  • There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. — Bill Hicks
  • There is no time like the pleasant.
  • There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
  • There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
  • They call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken.
  • They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!
  • Think much, Speak little, Write less.
  • This sentence contradicts itself — no actually it doesn't.
  • This website may not be idiot proof, but at least it's dimwit resistant.
  • This will be a memorable month — no matter how hard you try to forget.
  • Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov
  • Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
  • Time flies like a bullet. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • To be is to do – Socrates, To do is to be – Sartre, Do be do be do – Sinatra
  • To err is human, to arr is pirate.
  • To err is human, to forgive highly unlikely.
  • To err is human, to really screw up requires the root password.
  • To err is hunam.
  • To generalize is to be an idiot.
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  • Today is the first day of the rest of this mess.
  • Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
  • Today's children would be less spoiled if we could spank grandparents!
  • Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.
  • Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
  • Too much of a good thing is wonderful. — Mae West
  • Too much of everything is just enough.
  • Tracers work both ways.
  • Trying is failing with honors.
  • Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying. — Arthur C. Clarke
  • Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
  • Two wrongs don't make a right, but three will get you back on the freeway.
  • Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
  • Unix is user friendly – it's just picky about its friends.
  • Veni, vedi, visa. I came. I saw. I did a little shopping.
  • Veni, Vidi, Velcro – I came, I saw, I stuck around.
  • Vidi, vici, veni. I saw, I conquered, I came.
  • Viewer discretion may be advised, but it's never really expected.
  • War does not determine who is right – only who is left. — George Bernard Shaw
  • Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
  • Wasting time is an important part of living.
  • We all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.
  • We found Jesus – he was behind the sofa all along.
  • We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
  • Welcome to Hell. Here's your copy of Windows ME.
  • Welcome what you can't avoid.
  • What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  • What has been seen cannot be unseen.
  • What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
  • What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.
  • Whatever happens, ignore it all.
  • When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
  • When all else fails, admit i'm right and kiss my ***.
  • When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  • When I am sad, I sing, and then the world is sad with me.
  • When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car. — Jack Handey
  • When I was young I was told that anyone could be president. Now I'm beginning to believe it.
  • When in doubt empty the magazine.
  • When in doubt, do what the President does. Guess.
  • When in doubt, poke it with a stick.
  • When it's dark enough you can see the stars.
  • When someone points skyward, it's the fool that looks at the finger.
  • When the pin is pulled, Mr. grenade is not our friend.
  • When vultures fly, are they allowed carrion luggage?
  • When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
  • When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.
  • When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
  • Which is worse: Ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?
  • While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.
  • Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom?
  • Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
  • Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free.
  • Why do they use sterile needles for lethal injections?
  • Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
  • Wise people think all they say; fools say all they think.
  • With a rubber duck, you're never alone.
  • With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
  • Work harder: millions on welfare depend on you.
  • Work is the curse of the drinking class.
  • Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.
  • Worry is a misuse of the imagination.
  • Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy, but gets you nowhere.
  • XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve your problem, you're not using enough of it.
  • Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; that's why they call it the present. — Eleanor Roosevelt
  • You are only truly in control of your life when you accept you are not.
  • You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.
  • You can observe a lot just by watching.
  • You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. — Mae West
  • You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
  • You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  • You don't have to explain something you never said.
  • You don't learn anything the second time a mule kicks you.
  • You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. — Winston Churchill
  • You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same. — Jonathan Davis
  • You may delay, but Time will not. — Benjamin Franklin
  • You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
  • You're driving a car. It isn't a telephone booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant.
  • You're just jealous because the little voices only talk to me.
  • You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
  • You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
  • Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.

Source: http://www.vegard.net/one-liners/

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^^ Bahut badi list hain.. Will read it on a holiday.. ;)

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Gabbar's character

गब्बर सिंह का चरित्र चित्रण

1. सादा जीवन, उच्च विचार: उसके जीने का ढंग बड़ा सरल था. पुराने और मैले कपड़े, बढ़ी हुई दाढ़ी, महीनों से जंग खाते दांत और पहाड़ों पर खानाबदोश जीवन. जैसे मध्यकालीन भारत का फकीर हो. जीवन में अपने लक्ष्य की ओर इतना समर्पित कि ऐशो-आराम और विलासिता के लिए एक पल की भी फुर्सत नहीं. और विचारों में उत्कृष्टता के क्या कहने! 'जो डर गया, सो मर गया' जैसे संवादों से उसने जीवन की क्षणभंगुरता पर प्रकाश डाला था.

२. दयालु प्रवृत्ति: ठाकुर ने उसे अपने हाथों से पकड़ा था. इसलिए उसने ठाकुर के सिर्फ हाथों को सज़ा दी. अगर वो चाहता तो गर्दन भी काट सकता था. पर उसके ममतापूर्ण और करुणामय ह्रदय ने उसे ऐसा करने से रोक दिया.

3. नृत्य-संगीत का शौकीन: 'महबूबा ओये महबूबा' गीत के समय उसके कलाकार ह्रदय का परिचय मिलता है. अन्य डाकुओं की तरह उसका ह्रदय शुष्क नहीं था. वह जीवन में नृत्य-संगीत एवंकला के महत्त्व को समझता था. बसन्ती को पकड़ने के बाद उसके मन का नृत्यप्रेमी फिर से जाग उठा था. उसने बसन्ती के अन्दर छुपी नर्तकी को एक पल में पहचान लिया था. गौरतलब यह कि कला के प्रति अपने प्रेम को अभिव्यक्त करने का वह कोई अवसर नहीं छोड़ता था.

4. अनुशासनप्रिय नायक: जब कालिया और उसके दोस्त अपने प्रोजेक्ट से नाकाम होकर लौटे तो उसने कतई ढीलाई नहीं बरती. अनुशासन के प्रति अपने अगाध समर्पण को दर्शाते हुए उसने उन्हें तुरंत सज़ा दी.

5. हास्य-रस का प्रेमी: उसमें गज़ब का सेन्स ऑफ ह्यूमर था. कालिया और उसके दो दोस्तों को मारने से पहले उसने उन तीनों को खूब हंसाया था. ताकि वो हंसते-हंसते दुनिया को अलविदा कह सकें. वह आधुनिक यु का 'लाफिंग बुद्धा' था.

6. नारी के प्रति सम्मान: बसन्ती जैसी सुन्दर नारी का अपहरण करने के बाद उसने उससे एक नृत्य का निवेदन किया. आज-कल का खलनायक होता तो शायद कुछ और करता.

7. भिक्षुक जीवन: उसने हिन्दू धर्म और महात्मा बुद्ध द्वारा दिखाए गए भिक्षुक जीवन के रास्ते को अपनाया था. रामपुर और अन्य गाँवों से उसे जो भी सूखा-कच्चा अनाज मिलता था, वो उसी से अपनी गुजर-बसर करता था. सोना, चांदी, बिरयानी या चिकन मलाई टिक्का की उसने कभी इच्छा ज़ाहिर नहीं की.

8. सामाजिक कार्य: डकैती के पेशे के अलावा वो छोटे बच्चों को सुलाने का भी काम करता था. सैकड़ों माताएं उसका नाम लेती थीं ताकि बच्चे बिना कलह किए सो जाएं. सरकार ने उसपर 50,000 रुपयों का इनाम घोषित कर रखा था. उस युग में 'कौन बनेगा करोड़पति' ना होने के बावजूद लोगों को रातों-रात अमीर बनाने का गब्बर का यह सच्चा प्रयास था.

9. महानायकों का निर्माता: अगर गब्बर नहीं होता तो जय और व??रू जैसे लुच्चे-लफंगे छोटी-मोटी चोरियां करते हुए स्वर्ग सिधार जाते. पर यह गब्बर के व्यक्तित्व का प्रताप था कि उन लफंगों में भी महानायक बनने की क्षमता जागी.

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chiraag Bhai....photuva nahi mili kya net pe ??

Dekho yahaan.... genius bhau ne photuva bhi daal di hai...yahan : Mujhe Apne Soft Mouse Se Click Karo

Waise +1 for the story. :)

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Here goes my first one here :winko::)

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

:lol:

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^^^

LOL :D

+1

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Kamal bhai you got a hilarious one in your sig, even I fell for it!

Ah I guess it is in every fellow Indians' blood - want to get generously paid with no effort on their part.

:grin::)

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^^^

:):winko:

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Sasur apne Damaad Se : 6 saal mein 6 bachhe.....Yeh Kya Hai ?

Damaad : Maine aapse pahle he kaha tha, ke gareeb jaroor hoon, magar apki beti ko kabhi KHALI PAIT smiley_pregnant.gifnahi rakhunga. :winko:

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A RAJA's FACEBOOK PAGE.....

post-12510-0-20144100-1297662908_thumb.j

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^^^ LOL good one

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Ha ha ha....Chirag Bhai....good one. +1

Man-Mo-Han Jee toh Madam Jee ki agyaa ka paalan kar rahe hain. LOL. :rofl_200:

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